Last night my book club met. We’re a group of humanities and social science professors, and our book discussions tend to be long and intense, because we are all trying to prove our discipline’s superior ability to read a text. We follow that with getting drunk and talking about The Simpsons until the wee hours of the morning.
Anyway, I was recovering from a nasty virus, so my husband went without me. The topic was Padgett Powell’s Edisto, which I hope to finish one day and review. My husband got home after I fell asleep, but this morning I walked into the kitchen to find this:
I don’t think I need to tell you what this book is supposed to do. Check out Sarah Tanner’s most excellent post on this book from March 2009 for an explanation and hilarious example of how to “use” this book.
I checked out Amazon.com’s reviews. My favorite review is by M.A. Bechaz “bookaholic”:
Oh, but this book is awful! Its authors have taken all the very worst, most revolting, most overused phrases found in romance books (those same hackneyed phrases that make romance book editors swear they’ll scream if they have to read them one more time) and organised them into one tome, all in neat little chapters. This book is like a tombstone on the grave of creative writing … about as much of a turn on as getting a pap smear. In fact, I’ve read tractor magazines that were hotter and spicier than this.
But Goodwin’s Gal’s 2005 review offers a spirited defense of the book:
the overall message and purpose of the book seems to have been overlooked. The Romance Writers’ Phrase Book is a guide that’s meant to inspire an author and get a writer to understand the importance and the role of the “descriptive tag/phrase” when it comes to the overall art of writing as a whole.
Romance fiction in particular relies a great deal on emotion and internal conflict. Neglecting the little details, those descriptive phrases, can make or break a story. When I open this book, I’m not looking for a word-for-word phrasing I can simply cut and paste into my manuscript. Romance writing (heck, any writing) is never that simple or that formulaic. For me, the phrase book is a good starting point when I’m stumped on a gesture or where to start on how I want to describe an action or a particular emotion.
It’s easy to make fun of a book like this, and if you’re going to use it to mash up random phrases and pass that off as a novel, you deserve to be made fun of. And, yeah, some of the phrases are outdated and ridiculous no matter what the context (see below for a sampling). But I read a lot of romance, and I have read … many, many, many of the phrases in this book, even in books with publication dates well into the twenty-first century. For example, “her temptingly curved mouth”, “his square jaw tensed visibly”, “the heat emanating from his body”, “with long purposeful strides”, “his eyebrows shot up in surprise, “his jaw clenched, his eyes slightly narrowed”, “the last traces of resistance vanished”, “she swallowed hard and bit back tears”, “her body ached for his touch”, “his gaze was soft as a caress”, “her soft curves molding to the contours of his lean body”, and on and on. Either there are a zillion copies tucked away in writers’ desk drawers, or writers have read enough romances that they unconsciously rely on the stock phrases of the genre with which they are familiar.
Ok, so where’s the contest? Well, inspired by the mystery appearance on my kitchen table of this book, and by Sarah’s post, you can choose any four of the used books below if you win. To enter, create and post here a paragraph with 4 or more of the following phrases from this book (I will count. I am professory like that), lovingly hand chosen by yours truly, by this Friday at midnight eastern time. Open to anyone living anywhere (actually, Mars might be too far). Only one entry per person. I will choose winner at random on Saturday and announce it on this thread.
her complexion was white and illusive pink
her mouth was a smiling rosy flower
the living moistness of her full red mouth
her hair was a cobweb of silvery gold
she had a look of loving to pamper herself
he had a monopoly on virility
the warmth of personal contact in his hand
with an adventurous toss of her head
her head bowed and she remained in an attitude of frozen stillness
he touched his forehead slightly in a mock salute
a circle of ice ringing her mouth
a cold congested expression settled on his face
an inexplicable look of withdrawal came over his face
there was a pale blue lightening of amusement between his lashes
her large black eyes were filled with shifting stars
her eyes froze on his lips
his tone was irascibly patient
she was determined to straighten the havoc alone
the heavy lashes that shadowed her cheeks flew up
she was shocked when his eyes suddenly filled with a fierce sparkling
she was irritated at the thrilling current moving through her
her thoughts scampered vaguely around
she felt a curious swooping pull at her innards
her green eyes clawed him like talons
she allowed her subconscious thoughts to surface
could she handle his bundle of restless energy?
the moist satin of her breasts
his bulbous nose dominated his meaty features
reflected light glimmered over his handsome face like beams of icy radiance
manly wisps of dark hair curled against the V of his open shirt
his full black hair flowed from his face like a crest
preoccupied with his blonde hair and long slim legs
his cold urbanity was only slightly disturbed
he had the craggy look of an unfinished sculpture
his flesh met hers in a warm clasp
with a few swift strokes he closed the circle
Books to win (click on the cover to learn more about each book. They are USED):
Happy writing!
