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Creepy Covers Pt. 4: Society Bride by Elizabeth Bevarly
Apr 05 2009 Published by Jessica under Cover commentary
What results when the Hemlock Society and Hospice Foundation of America join forces on a new Harlequin line.
In this book, one of Silhouette’s Fortune’s Children series from the 1990s, Renee Riley and Garrett Fortune meet at the Final Destination Ranch. Now, I don’t know about you, but if I booked a trip to the Final Destination Ranch, I am pretty sure I would get my affairs in order and bring clean underwear.
Look again at that cover. Those are heavenly clouds if I ever saw them (with apologies to Lauren Dane, I’m pretty sure I can make out Sweet Baby Jesus on his skateboard up there). The hero is feverish: he likely needs his pain meds upped. Our ill-fated heroine is already slipping away, as evidenced by her conspicuous lack of consciousness. With her nearly transparent body, Renee has raised the stakes for heroines everywhere: see-through lingerie is looking pretty timid by comparison.
I was excited about my first end-of-life romance. What would the hero grunt when he sheathed himself? “So loose! So cold! And so dry!”
Would Jack Kevorkian perform the marriage ceremony?
And what would become of the horses?
Alas, while I was hoping for my first literal HEA, it turns out nobody is actually dying. Garrett Fortune is surprised by the fact that women want him for his — erm — fortune. And virginal debutante Renee is surprised that men want her for her — erm — virginal debutantery (debutantish virginality?). They decide to want each other for the hot sex instead.
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