Beg Me is an edgy erotic romance self-published by Shiloh Walker. I purchased my copy for $2.99 at Smashwords, and moved it onto my Kindle the old fashioned way (i.e. by plugging my Kindle in to my Mac), but it is now available at Amazon’s Kindle store. I had read one other book by Walker, a paranormal/fantasy romance, which I liked, but I was intrigued by the rape fantasy aspect of Beg Me, and also felt like dipping my toe into the self-publishing pool with an author whose work I knew.
Tania Sinclair lost her husband, and she was brutally raped not long afterwards. She killed her attacker in self-defense, and has managed to put much of her life back together, but the memories of the attack have mingled with her memories of her husband, leaving her unable to move on in her romantic or sexual life. Tania enjoyed consensual and safe rough sex, as well as rape fantasies, with her husband, but what should linger as sexy memories of her beloved spouse have been tainted by the rape. She decides to ask her dear friend, Drake,who happens to be her late husband’s best friend, to help her put the past behind her by having a no strings attached affair. Tania knows she’ll be safe with Drake, and that he’ll understand if she freaks out or calls it off.
Drake is shocked when Tania approaches him. They’ve been spending a lot of time together since her husband’s death, but it’s been purely platonic. What Tania doesn’t know is that Drake has been in love with her forever. He desires her desperately, and just so happens (one of those erotic romance conveniences. A lot of guys would be totally turned off by Tania’s fantasy.) to enjoy the kind of sexual role playing she envisions, but he’s not sure he can stand knowing he’s just Tania’s training ground.
Drake’s love for Tania, paradoxically, provides the conflict in the book, not just because he’s afraid to get hurt, but because he is afraid to hurt her. It’s clear that Tania has a number of psychological hurdles to overcome, and their sex scenes have a tense and dangerous edge as a result. I am a sucker for the “hero loves her already” set up, and I thought the book was strongest when the story was told from Drake’s conflicted perspective.
Tania is defined pretty much by her need to start enjoying rape fanasies again, but this is common in erotic romance — making a sexual issue central to one’s whole identity. As is the notion that having good sex will help wipe away the memory of rape. And more specifically, that playacting a rape can help a woman overcome a real rape. The same idea was played out in another romance I just read, from 1989, Linda Howard’s Mackenzie’s Mountain. It’s also present in Caine’s Reckoning by Sarah McCarty.
More overt in this book than in the other two I mentioned, is the idea that the heroine’s rape fantasies are good for her, and that being able to enjoy them again is not only about getting a part of herself back, but about taking control: control both of her memories from the rapist, and control of Drake himself, who — at a certian point — doesn’t much want to do it, but is pushed by Tania to play along. Unlike the heroines in the Howard and McCarty, Tania has been in therapy and has done all the other things she’s supposed to do to recover from her loss and trauma. But like any good erotic romance, complete healing requires romantic love and sexual fulfillment.
Having Tania and Drake’s relationship extend back five years in the past made it much more believable that things would progress rapidly, but Beg Me is not a long book — about the length of a category romance — and so Tania’s move from like to lust to love felt a bit rushed to me. There is also an external conflict, a kind of lingering suspense, that felt a little extraneous, although it did not pull me out of the story.
As an erotic romance, Drake’s desire for Tania was extremely convincing and compelling. It may sound surprising, but I actually empathized with his conflict more strongly than Tania’s. Beg Me’s many explicit scenes were very well written and, surprisingly, for such a short book, revealed character and moved the relationship along. In other words, Beg Me is a real romance, not a bunch of sex scenes strung together. I enjoyed it very much. It raises, but does not belabor, the problem that a woman who enjoys rape fantasies is specially vulnerable to both rape and to having her testimony doubted by authorities, something I’ll be thinking about for a while.
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Why?
Thanks for the review, Jessica…glad you liked it.
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Erotic Romance, Jessica Tripler. Jessica Tripler said: Review: Beg Me, by Shiloh Walker – http://www.readreactreview.com/2010/11/26/review-beg-me-by-shiloh-walker/ [...]
I completely agree about Drake. I felt his internal conflict so greatly. I thought he was so well done. And while I admit the rape fantasy isn’t really my bag of tea, I thought she did a good job of showing the issues that can arise (which you so ably pointed out).
Oooh, thanks for this review! I’ve been thinking about getting this for a while – I knew Shiloh would tell an awesome story, but my giant TBR pile – so giant. I’m going for it though! I’ve actually never read a book with this particular fantasy scenario, and the hero’s conflict really does sound compelling!
Awesome review Jessica. Makes me want to pick it up
Agree! I empathized with Drake more than Tania, especially that one scene, which I found more emotional & tormented than sexy. Really liked this story.
@Laura Vivanco: I am glad you picked up on this Laura. To be more clear: I don’t think it is true in general, but it was true in this story. I didn’t want to say more than that because it would spoil certain plot elements.
Thanks for the clarification, Jessica. I did wonder if that might be the case, because I could imagine certain scenarios in which your statement would be true, but many others in which it wouldn’t be.
Rape fantasies aren’t involved, but there’s a role-playing-after-attack element in Jo Beverley’s Devilish. Also of course in To Have and to Hold.
sounds like an interesting story – I may have to investigate…
@willaful: That is one JB I have not read. Must get it.
@Kaetrin: It is. I hope you enjoy it!
I am intrigued by this one. I do like Shiloh Walker’s other works and I’m hearing good things about this. I enjoyed your review.
@Fiction Vixen: Thanks1 I liked it, and not there is a positive review up at Smexy Books, too. It is not too long, and is cheap ($2.99) so even if for some reason it is not for you, the investment is minimal!
I just read this, and I’m afraid it didn’t work for me at all. I found that last sex scene between the H/H troublesome.