This is just a goofy autobiographical meditation. I’m sure it has no applicability to any of you.
10. “I’m just going to stop at the bookstore to pick up that book I ordered. That’s it.”
Online version: “I’ll just click over to Amazon/Borders/Sony to browse, maybe add a few books to my wish list. Not buying anything.”
9. One day I will read every book in my TBR pile.
8. I never blog when I am supposed to be (a) parenting, (b) working, or (c) sleeping. See, like someone else’s chocolate cake, which has no calories (even when you’ve eaten half of it), blogging minutes, because they are virtual, don’t actually take up any time.
7. “This book didn’t work so well for me. Other readers might really enjoy it” (Translation: “This absolutely sucked donkey balls, but if you have shit taste, you might love it.”)
6. I feel nothing but sisterly affection and joy when a newbie blogger comes on the scene and generates more buzz and traffic than me.
5. That book was just too sexy for me. [Alternate: I skip the sex scenes.]
4. I no longer care – at all – about: (pick one) JR Ward/Laurell K. Hamilton/Linda Howard
3. Getting books from the library helps reduce my spending on new books.
2. I don’t notice blog traffic, especially not my own.
And the Number One Lie of the Romance blogger…
1. I am on a self-imposed book buying ban.
Version B: This purchase doesn’t count against my self-imposed book buying ban, because I pre-ordered the book weeks ago.
Version C: My self-imposed book buying ban doesn’t include novellas or shorts.
Version D: Oh, I meant that my self-imposed book buying ban will begin on the first of the month. Which month? Er….
*this post is dedicated to Pearl, who tweeted #1 and thus inspired this post.
LOLOLOLOL. So true. So completely utterly true.
Except for the sex part. I actually have disliked books where the sex scenes are too much/too boring.
But yet, I’ve tried going on book bans – but then I come up with all sorts of loopholes like “I just won’t buy books by authors I don’t know! I mean, I already know Mary Balogh is awesome so I’ll eventually buy all her books anyway so it’s not really cheating if I buy her new books because why put off the inevitable????”
I’d substitute a couple if I did my own list (which I won’t: too much self-honesty causes crow’s feet). Being a wannabee writer allows for some extra-creative lies.
I can buy as many books as I want; they’re for “work.”
I’m not avoiding writing my W-I-P; I’m blogging, which also counts as “work” because it’s “building a platform.” (Never mind that the tiny number of people who read my blog wouldn’t generate even the “buh” of “buzz.”)
Thanks for the laughs!
#7 made me lawl.
As for #9… what? I WILL read them all some day. I swear.
Hilarious post, so recognizable
Especially # 1, 8 & 9 are so common for me *g*
Classic!!!
ROTFL!!!! I just did #10 this morning. I’m really trying to work on #8 hubs get’s mad at me, why can’t he just accept that I have a book addiction?
Thanks for the lols.
#7 isn’t a lie. It’s a protective reframing
And I just had someone feed me that line, modifed, this morning. Sniff.
*grins* If I put a £ in the money jar every time I said, and failed at #9, I would be a rich woman.
And #4? Oh so true. I have my pick.
Great post! It gave me a good giggle.
This put a smile on my face!
#’s 10, 9 and 1 are the lies I tell myself most often. The truth is, I am addicted to buying books and because of that my TBR pile will forever be, and I might as well stop my delusions and admit that I’ll never stick to my self-imposed book buying ban.
Oh definitely Jessica! My brother said to me today that I don’t need anymore books and he’s getting ready to stage an intervention!
I’ve done ALL of these. I’m not proud. LOL
I’ve never
utteredthought any of that. I swear.Hey, I resemble that remark!
So true about the authors! I am looking forward to getting my hands on the newest LKH’s because I’m addicted. It’s all Jean-Claude and Micah’s fault… and Asher and Nathaniel…
#7 is the winner here, hehe. i say that about movies and music.
Chortle! I read down that list going ,’Yep, Yep, Yep.’ Especially #10. I have just broken my book buying ban and I feel so dirty…..
#1? I have managed to go for two weeks with the self-imposed book buying ban. Otherwise, nope, no will-power. The others are generally not lies I tell myself or others. The TBR will never go away; I cannot leave the bookstore with just one book; despite wanting to give up on LH, I still mourn the passing of her Old School books/style; the library is a gateway drug, not a budget-helper; and I like the sex in most (but not all) romance novels.
LOL….that sums up all of my lies perfectly!
OMG, this is so funny. Snort. Especially #4 – I no longer care about those authors, but I fascinatedly read everything about them, and think about buying the next book, even if I don’t. SO true!!
And on the online book store thing, oh, I need this one book, but wait, if I get some more books, I’ll get free shipping. Buying more books will save me money!!
I’m so guilty! Blogging when I should be parenting, working, etc. It’s funny, I feel more guilty about NOT buying the books I want. So many times, I say I’m interested in a book or author, and don’t follow through with an actual buy. I hate when I do that!
Heee heee heee. This is all very entertaining in a purely hypothetical way.
The funny thing about #7 is that it’s true! some of the worst books I’ve read have a very vocal fan base.
When I utter #7, I generally mean it. Mostly because I know so many readers who have wildly different tastes from my own. That said, over the years I have run up against some books so awful that I wouldn’t recommend them to another living soul. But blessedly, those numbers are very, very slim.
Re: book buying ban. I’m not foolish enough to ever attempt one. I’m a big enough person to accept my own limitations.
Well, that’s interesting. I only resemble about 1/10 (perhaps 2/10 on occasion) of that remark. Apparently you and I have different styles of of self-deception
You just about described me… Love the post..
E.H>
Oh… I tried to book diet for a couple of years. It was a miserable failure. With the result that I now have (and these are official statistics from my LibraryThing account) 2002 unread books in my personal library. If I never bought or otherwise acquired a new book, I could go a DECADE AND A HALF without ever resorting to a reread.
And I cannot tell you how deliriously happy that makes me.