If you are like me, when you heard about Harlequin contacting bloggers to issue e-bundles of Harlequin titles not available in electronic format, you gnashed your teeth and railed at the fates for unfairly excluding you were so pleased for them and immediately unsubscribed from their blog feeds and blocked them on twitter sent congratulatory emails. You may even have sent Harlequin a note, reminding them of your email address, because surely they had overlooked you in error, thanking them for being so creative and blogger friendly.
But after all that’s done, what next? Instead of starting a whisper campaign against those annoying bloggers, and then burning all of your Harlequins in your backyard of waiting for others to ask, simply go to your local pre-read bookstore and make your own bundle!
Other bloggers have chosen certain authors to bundle, but I in my infinitely superior wisdom which Harlequin is too ignorant to detect decided to pick a theme. And I am ready with my first bundle!
The theme is: these are the books my fingers touched when I closed my eyes and reached out to the stack of Harlequins
Look, I’m very pleased to be doing this. Here’s proof of my joy:
So, my lucky readers … what does this bundle include?
Of course, since it’s my bundle, I get to reimagine their titles, like so…
1. “Gee, I Wonder if That Hero is Really Smart? I see the Glasses, Beaker, Computer and Big Brain, but I’m Still Not Convinced.”
2. “Beware of Men Crushing Silk Scarves in Close Proximity to Your Jugular. Especially When they Sport Porn Staches”**
3. “Sheena Easton Takes a Pool Boy”
4. “What? The Pool Boy Traveled Back in Time and Became a Laird!”
** alt. title for #2: “See That Santa with the Head Beard and Eyebrows of Rage? I’m Pretty Sure He is Trying to Kill You.”
Happy Weekend!
*with apologies to Carolyn Crane, whose summer post on her absence at RWA 2009 inspired this one
I really want to read Pilgrim’s Promise. Maybe it will yield the answer to a great Romance mystery: why aren’t there more blond heroes? Some of us like blond men, dammit!
Oh, man…the titles were awesome. And Slayer Santa was totally trying to shiv someone!
I hope Harlequin recognizes your genius soon and gives you a bundle.
Mite, you’ve just dated yourself.
(Awesome post, btw.)
*chortles*
Can’t wait to read your reviews. I think I love your reimagined titles too danged much, though. And I wonder if I read some of those when they first came out — at least one cover looks very familiar!
Where was the spurt alert warning?
I love your sense of humor.
You’re so funny! Loved this one!
LMAO!! Funny. The computer crammed in the guys skull in “A Taste of Death” might explain why he’s DEAD! LOL
The Pilgrim’s Promise book looks familiar enough that it’s possible I read it way back when.
#4- Hero borrows the infamous puffy shirt from Seinfield.
ROTFL! But when are we going to get more Ham/mukah posts? You’re running out of time fast…
@Maili: At age 10, I looked exactly like Sheena Easton. Or at least I hoped I did.
@Janine: I’m reading the Ginn Hale as I type. I plan to do the rest of the Ham/mukah reviews this week, but that Kennedy book, at 4 times the length I expected, has set me way back.
@rebyj: Good guess! Actually, it’s Santa who is found in a pool of blood. Nice Holiday story, eh?
@Janice: You expect me to read these things? Good God, woman. I took enough hits for the team just looking at those covers.
@Robin: I sense a post on blond heroes coming on. I also love em. Mr. Impossible and Lover Eternal spring to mind.
LOL! This is way too funny. I can’t believe Harlequin hasn’t detected your infinitely superior wisdom! But good for you on not burning the Harlequins. And I love your titles. Crimson Holiday, that really is a threatening cover! He totally has the strangle handhold on that scarf. Away from her jugular!
Carolyn == what happened to your RWa post? I tried to find it to link to it.
Okay, you made me think it was lost. Here:
http://thethrillionthpage.blogspot.com/2009/07/my-own-damn-rwa-pictures.html
You don’t have to link to it – I was just tickled you referenced the headline. It actually came from a poster that was ubiquitious around town one summer, from the Eckankar group, entitled, “Have your own spiritual experiences” and my husband Mark always had this overwhelming urge to write in “damn” to make it say, “Have your own damn spiritual experiences.” He never actually wrote in damn, but it was one of those inside couples jokes forever.
LOL. I didn’t know you were as
crazyfunny as Carolyn Crane! Computer and Big Brain, I love it.Are the books good-reading?
I am lovin’ that computer on the cover of A Taste Of Death. So sleek, modern and it just screams state-of-the-art!
Since the hero is obviously a smart and busy man (what with his beakers and test tubes) – maybe the heroine can kill time by playing Pong on it?
Those were the most hilarious sour grapes ever!
But… but.. Rupert is blond? When the hell did that happen?
[...] is Volume II??) Keishon spotted them at Fictionwise with some significant micropay discounting. Jessica has some thoughts about her own bundles as does Keira [...]
Thanks for the laugh. This cracked me up.
Thanks for proving you can laugh so hard it hurts!
“Instead of starting a whisper campaign against those annoying bloggers, and then burning all of your Harlequins in your backyard of waiting for others to ask, simply go to your local pre-read bookstore and make your own bundle!”
Or… Just go on Diesel ebooks and build your own infinitely superior Racy Romance Reviews Bundle!
http://www.diesel-ebooks.com/cgi-bin/category/bundle_buildform
**Note to self: Do not attempt to drink coffee while reading this blog without some sort of protective cover on keyboard.