1. ‘Sup Saturday gift certificate Contest Winner:
What follows is the list of 26 entrants, in the order they commented. Using Random.org, I got the number 18, which is…
Janice, Wendy, Laura, Magdalen, Meri, Kristie(j), Katiebabs, Amy, Keira, Book Vixen, Janine, Limecello, Animejune, Heidenkind, Shery Thomas, JanetW, Nicola O., Carolyn Crane, Maili, Magdalen, Maered, Renee, Tumperkin, Rigmarole, Kate, Ann F.
Congratulations, Carolyn! Let me know what bookstore and what email. Send me an email at jessica@racyromancereviews.com
2. Links of Interest
Another good post from Sparky on why we can’t always have a productive conversation.
I also liked this post by Ilona Andrews on family and UF, paranormal and mystery books.
And Tumperkin is saying interesting things about a book I must read, Lavyrle Spencer’s Morning Glory.
Marg of Reading Adventures reports on a Library Reading Challenge.
And here’s an Audiobook Challenge for 2010 from Royal Reviews.
Royal Reviews is a new to me blog, coming up on its 3rd anniversary reviewing romance, nonfiction, fantasy and historical. It’s clearly very popular and well trafficked, a reminder to me that my corner of the book blogging universe is just that, a corner. This one has short reviews by a fairly large cast of contributors who all have pseudonyms. It hosts a lot of contests and challenges.
Another blog, The Season, is new to me as well. I see that Katiebabs is blogging for it, and it seems to be the brainchild of a Kensington romance author named Beverley Kendall. It has fora, a newsletter, and lots and lots of contests, including a recent pitch contest. It’s a very ambitious site, which wears its growth goals on its sleeve, by posting its stats and advertising rates. I could not find an About page or archives to tell how old it is, but this one seems to be a positive promotional sort of thing like Romance Buy The Book.
Another new to me group blog, The Teflon Panties, with reviews and contests. They actually did a “1/2 chapter in” DNF review of JR Ward’s Covet, which I thought was kind of brave.
I personally tend to be attracted more to solo blogs, where I feel like I am interacting with identifiable individuals, but I thought these might interest others.
3. Cyberstalking your fellow bloggers
Have you ever Googled a blogger? I totally have, and I feel it’s not always ok. Usually, I am just trying to see where else someone blogs, if they have a MySpace, or if they have lists on Amazon that I can glom. But if you romance blog under your real full name, I may just find out where you went to high school or where you work without trying to. I haven’t found out much about any of you, by the way (ok, a grand larceny rap, a Cool Whip fetish, and a very bad mid nineties hairdo, but that’s it!) (kidding!), and usually quickly turn from bloggers to old boyfriends, which better suit the typically narcissistic flavor of my mindless web crawling. Sometimes if I get a new commenter here, I will Google them to see what their “online” personality is like, to better assess a comment that seems harsh or trollish, for example. Other times, I might Google the name of a commenter on another site who strikes me as interesting in some way. Sometimes I wonder if anyone Googles me, but then I think, “who the hell cares what I do when I’m not here?”. Then I consider at my own occasional stalkerish ways and reassess those odds…
4. Pity Party
I first heard of that expression when I read the 2006 Vanity Fair interview with Jennifer Aniston where she “opened up” about the demise of her marriage to Brad Pitt. Aniston, normally the most boring interviewee on the planet, actually said something memorable: that she threw herself a “pity party”. I thought this was such a great idea that I host them for myself whenever possible. I’m about to have one in this here post, so bail now if you don’t like the sound of that.
I’m reliably at my lowest ebb, in terms of energy, this week of the year. So many things, good and bad, one after the other, happen in December — the end of term, birthdays, holidays, etc, etc.. I love the kids’ birthdays (and for those of you counting, yeah, spring break is a fertile time for the Racy family) but it’s always kind of bittersweet. I’m proud and happy for them, but I get gripped at moments by a parental panic: time is moving, they are getting older [insert inchoate fear] … Well, suffice to say the birthdays are always a bit of an emotional time for me.
I don’t talk much about my second job at a hospital, but it’s fairly stressful at times. As part of this work, I sometimes sit in an ICU conference room with families of critically ill patients and their doctors, nurses, social workers, and clergy. And we try to figure out what to do. These meetings can last one, two, three hours, without a break. We go through boxes of tissues. Unlike most of the other people in the room, I usually haven’t been involved in the patient’s care up to this point. This is a virtue when it comes to mediating and staying calm, but it creates an odd emotional dissonance that I haven’t found a good way yet to deal with. It’s a privilege to share those intense moments with families and the care team, all of whom are deeply invested in the patient, but it can be very draining, and, boy, has it been draining lately.
Also, my hospice friend (this is volunteer work, for a different organization), whom I have known for two years, has just died. I had spent my last afternoon with him on Thanksgiving day. A week later, I was dutifully filling out the requisite paperwork at 6:00am before my family got out of bed. I am supposed to record narratives of each visit, but I had put off the final week of entries. I sat at the kitchen table writing descriptions of my 7th to last visit, my 6th to last, my 5th to last, and so on. It was stupid to try to do all of them at once. By the time I got to the Thanksgiving visit, writing about my final moments with him, I was sobbing. This volunteer work is important to me, but it also creates emotions that are hard to discharge or deposit.
This is a downer, but it’s true: I’m exhausted, depleted, constantly on the edge of tears or snappishness, and trudging through the days to get to the end of the semester. I read for a lot of different reasons, but at the moment, reading is my chosen form of therapeutic escape and catharsis.
If you write books, thank you, because I really need them right now.
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#1 by Ana on December 7, 2009 - 7:37 am
*cyber hugs Jessica*
So, on top of having a wonderful family, a top-notch career, one of the most interesting blogs online, you also volunteer at a hospital? R-E-S-P-E-C-T . Woman, you have my undying admiration.
Hope you find a cool, pick-me-up book!
#2 by Jessica on December 7, 2009 - 7:50 am
@Ana: You are the sweetiest, but I must admit I’m not that altruistic: I am on staff at the hospital, and I get paid. *hugs back* thank you, and happy travels!!
#3 by Mandi on December 7, 2009 - 8:04 am
My good friend’s mom died and went through hospice. Since then my friend has volunteered with the organization and I think it is one of the best things you can do. As Ana said – respect.
Now I am off to google myself…I’m nervous
#4 by Ana on December 7, 2009 - 8:08 am
Doesn’t change a bit of my admiration !!!! It is hard work , volunteered or not!
LOL, Mandi, i Googled myself after I read this post too! Found loads of Ana Grilos! *eek*
#5 by Louisa Edwards on December 7, 2009 - 8:34 am
So sorry you’re feeling snowed under, Jessica. I admire the hospice work you do–I’m not sure I’d have the fortitude. While you’re taking care of everyone else, be sure you take some time for yourself. I heartily second Trumperkin here, you MUST read Morning Glory. One of the best romances ever, and certainly my favorite of LaVyrle’s.
And I don’t know if it would really make you feel better, but I’d be happy to send along an ARC of my next book. Just for fun! And not at ALL because your review of Can’t Stand the Heat was my favorite of any that I got. : )
#6 by Tumperkin on December 7, 2009 - 9:06 am
Oh, I hear you with the Pity Party. This is an absurdly busy time of year for me so I can relate to the feeling of exhaustion and stress – and that’s hard enough without all the emotional exhaustion which I imagine must be involved in your second job. And I’m sorry to hear about your hospice friend dying. It must be strange to find yourself feeling joy and grief and stress and – that nameless wistful joy of watching children grow older – all at once. I’m glad reading remains an oasis for you. It is for me too.
#7 by Victoria Janssen on December 7, 2009 - 9:12 am
We’ve never met, but virtual hugs are okay, right?
It helped a lot to have outside input (counselor, in our case) when my mom was in the hospital for the last time. I can’t explain how much. You are doing a very good thing that will help people. But I think it’s important to remember you have to take care of yourself before you can take care of others. Take care of yourself!
#8 by Jessica on December 7, 2009 - 9:16 am
Oh, that was a different Ana Grilo who robbed the Cool Whip delivery truck?
#9 by SarahT on December 7, 2009 - 9:53 am
I’ve Googled some of my fellow bloggers but I’m reticent to ask to be, say, their Facebook friend, in case they like to keep that separate from blogging.
I’ve also Googled myself, but there’s not much info on me beyond my blog/Twitter account. I use my maiden name for everything relating to my academic/professional life. I’m not too concerned about potential employers stumbling upon my blog, but I’d rather my students didn’t!
Sorry you’re feeling down. I hope you find a good book to cheer you up.
#10 by Janet W on December 7, 2009 - 11:39 am
I’m going to need a box of tissues myself if I continue reading the internet this morning! You have all my admiration for the work you do — especially volunteer. An admired aunt of mine, a former nurse, works in a hospice and she told me once that people near death are much as they’ve been their whole lives. I TRY to remember that as I tackle each day! Thank you for being such a comprehensive guide to the wider world … I am continually amazed at the convos that are all around us! I leave you with a link to a book that makes me smile and literally laugh out loud. Your kids might enjoy some of the descriptions of Durrell smuggling all sorts of animals into his delightful Corfu “cottage” — I feel transported when I read it — and what are book for?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/My_Family_and_Other_Animals
#11 by Carolyn Crane on December 7, 2009 - 12:06 pm
I am so sorry to hear you’re feeling blue, Jessica, and so sorry to hear about your friend. And good for you, and brave, to be vulnerable and open about it here. I’m glad this is a place you can be real, because you really bring a lot to our corner of the world. And wow, I can only imagine what you bring to the people who know you, and the families you spend time with at the hospital. When my dad was dying, we could’ve really used somebody like you in the room.
I hope you are surrounded with some really wonderful books right now, and you’re definitely surrounded by all our good thoughts.
Okay, enough about you. What’s this about my winning a prize?? LOL. I’ll email you the info.
#12 by Jessica on December 7, 2009 - 1:44 pm
@Louisa Edwards: thank you! I will be reading it for sure, but I’ve got to keep my standing as Romanceland’s biggest prig, so I will be buying it.
@Tumperkin: thanks! I happen to have an unusual constellation of activities, but I think it’s (a) the time of year, and (b) being a woman. I have never met a woman, especially a mom, who isn’t pulled in a million different directions at once.
@SarahT: I hate Facebook. I have an account, not tied to my RRR nom de plume, but I still hate it.
@Janet W: Yup, that’s the hospice philosophy. Alive is alive, even if you’re dying. Thanks for the link. Much appreciated today,
@Carolyn Crane: Well, I am on my best behavior here.
And you’ll be happy to know that I have found a wonderful wonderful book, Kelley Armstrong’s Bitten, which I am listening to on audio, but also have on the Kindle.
#13 by Lynn Spencer on December 7, 2009 - 2:53 pm
Wow. So in awe of the people who volunteer for hospice. I know it’s very hard work emotionally, but so appreciated. I do legal work for families in the types of situations you mention above, and I know the hospice volunteer is usually the person they mention first when talking about what helps keep them going.
#14 by Phyl on December 7, 2009 - 2:54 pm
I just want to add my virtual hugs to the ones already expressed here. Thanks for sharing what you’re going through. I hope it helps.
#15 by Ann Somerville on December 7, 2009 - 3:10 pm
You are such a good person.
#16 by M on December 7, 2009 - 3:29 pm
<<This volunteer work is important to me, but it also creates emotions that are hard to discharge or deposit. <
As a person who has been on the receiving end of kind, support words from volunteers like you, I just want to say *thank you*. It was a terrifying time, and the sympathy from the woman at the hospital–I can't even remember her name, I only remember how nice she was–made a horrible night a little easier for us. I will never forget her.
I know what a difficult and exhausting job it must be. I wish I could give you a hug now, in return for it. Thank you.
#17 by Lusty Reader on December 7, 2009 - 5:16 pm
i hope your next read is so good it puts the kibosh on your pity party, or at least makes you step away to a happier place for a break! i love it when that happens, you look up from 2 hours of reading and realize you didn’t spend even *one* minute thinking about that horrible problem while you were reading!
i hardly follow any group blogs either, but i would recommend Risky Regencies, mainly because i love that time period and they post great essays on it. Carolyn Jewel is the only author on there that i really know, but they also have fun (and informative yet still fun!) guest posts too!
#18 by heidenkind on December 7, 2009 - 6:21 pm
I have never googled another blogger–but I’m known for a complete lack of curiosity when it comes to things like that. I’ve googled my RL name a few times, but nothing much came up (thank god).
I’m not sure I’d be strong enough to do volunteer work like that. You definitely deserve hugs, cyber and otherwise, for putting yourself out there to help people. ((((Jessica))))
#19 by Janine on December 7, 2009 - 9:48 pm
(((( hugs ))))
#20 by Sherry Thomas on December 7, 2009 - 9:58 pm
I am slightly uncomfortable giving cyberhugs, but know that if my copy of MADENSKY SQUARE hadn’t been stolen right from my cart at Costco last week, I’d be sending it to you right now.
I think this might be time to get started on an Ibbotson book if you have any lying around. Her books are very much a cut above and convey a deep belief in the rightness of the world, which sounds like what you might like to read at this moment.
Hope the blues pass soon. Stay warm, have lots of hot beverages, and may your shelves bulge with fantastic reads when you most need it.
#21 by katiebabs on December 7, 2009 - 11:59 pm
Major hugs!!
The Season blog is a fun place. I’m all over the place it seems. LOL
#22 by Carolyn Crane on December 8, 2009 - 10:53 am
ooh, I am happy to know that you are reading Bitten! I hope you like it. Funny, I always think of historicals as a comfort read. But a good narrator like Elena can also be comforting, for the intiimacy she creates. Can’t wait to hear what you think!!