1. Rants
On NPR’s Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me, they have a quiz where they give you a few bizarre news items and the contestant has to figure out which is the real one and which are fakes. In a similar vein, here are three rants. A rant is by definition an emotional attack. Only one is my real opinion.
a. The phrase “I want to have babies with this book” is making the rounds in Romland. Ok, people. We already have pronatalism in romance, with the happily child free heroine an endangered species compared to her thoughtlessly world-overpopulating sisters (see any epilogue in a historical romance near you). But now we have pronatalism in romance reviewing as well? We can’t merely force our heroines to have babies to be fulfilled, but now we bloggers have to have them? With books? Give me a break!
b. Overuse of the word “obsidian”, especially related to the hero’s eyes. Unlike blue eyes, which can be azure, sky, or midnight, black apparently has only one synonym — obsidian. The last book I read mentioned it no fewer than fifteen times! Even heroes who do not have black eyes suddenly get all obisidan on our asses when they get lusty. In the old days, eyes would get “dark” to signify lust. Now they get “obsidian”. I’m sorry people, but amber eyes — at least on a human — do not turn obsidian on command from the penis. Authors, how about “inky”? Or “ebony”? Or “coal black”? Anything but obsidian. Please!
PS. Also, I think it is my feminist duty to mention that obsidian is used in a very sexist manner. Why can’t heroines have a little of that obsidian, huh?
c. I am back on Twitter, and have returned to using Google reader. And, while things are under control at the moment, I can’t help but notice that I am being constantly bombarded with contests and giveaways. The retweeting practice on Twitter means that for every 1 contest, there are about 20 tweets. I don’t even post on those threads anymore, despite some of them having good content (like author interviews or good reviews) because I am so sick of having to add “but don’t enter me in the contest”. And in addition to all the original tweets and posts about the contest, there are always the last minute ones — “contest almost over!” “tweet now to win this book!”, “only one more day to enter!”. Is there sometimes too much of a good thing? Yes!
2. Links of interest
I asked Kristen, of Fantasy Cafe, what she thought about the gender sci fi wars recently breaking out in the blogopshere (you know, the “women are ruining sci fi” post). Her partner, John, kindly wrote a post . Check it out!
Barbara of Happily Forever After has a beautiful new blog look, and a great post on cover art.
Ahoy mateys! Sarah Tanner is doing a series on piracy dilemmas. What I really like about it, is that instead of demonizing pirates and “just saying no”, she is presenting some pretty sympathetic cases.
Question: What great blogs have you been reading lately? Suggestions?
3. Convention update
Rom Con. More info about the Romance Convention in July in Denver. Authors who will be in attendance include Nalini Singh, Elizabeth Hoyt, Susan Mallery, Brenda Novak, Anna Campbell, Jeaniene Frost, Jo Beverley.
Also, there are going to be several panels on how to blog and how to write book reviews, including “Getting Your Reviews Noticed by Publisher and Authors”. I wonder who the RomCon folks will ask to serve on those panels.
I must say, it is getting more interesting all the time.
4. Romance on audio
Things are really changing. It used to be you could get anything you wanted by Nora Roberts, Amanda Quick and Cassie Edwards. And that was pretty much it. Now, every week, new titles, and new authors are being added. Anne Stuart’s Ice series is now available, as well as Stephanie Laurens’ Cynster series. New items from Mary Balogh, Mary Jo Putney, Jo Goodman, Sherry Thomas, Elizabeth Hoyt and others. And Harlequin has its own audio bookstore with all of its lines well represented.
If you have not tried it, now is a great time. They are not cheap, but more and more libraries are offering audio downloads.
5. Adventures in parent teacher conferences
Child 1’s Teacher:
M. has been doing very well, with things like word recognition and reading. We do need to work on his writing.
Us: His writing?
Teacher: Yes, he has trouble coming up with topics. Appropriate topics.
Us: Appropriate topics?
Teacher: Yes. He tends to want to write about things that I feel the class is not interested in.
Us: Such as?
Teacher: Well. (she takes out a folder, showing us a paper with a big circle in the middle and smaller circles branching off of it, like the planets orbiting the sun). I ask them to put a central topic in the middle bubble, and then related ideas in the satellite bubbles.
Us: Yes, and…?
She shows us a paper with M.’s barely legible chicken scratch. We actually encourage bad handwriting in the hopes that he will become a physician and support us in our twilight years. I keep mum on that point.
Here is what it says:
“TOE FUNGIS” is written in the central bubble, with “warm”, “brown”, “jerm”, and “no eeting”, in the surrounding bubbles. With illustrations.
I make a mental note to go home, hug M. and tell him I want to hear all about toe fungus.
Child 2 conference:
All of the kids have their “autobiographical posters” up on the wall in the classroom. In the middle square, the kids are supposed to put their “best memory”. Our child described our trip to Europe two years ago. It started out great — the castles, the museums, the culture.
But the last line was the killer: “In Iceland, my mommy told us she was going to take us for a special dinner on our last night. But we ran out of krona and had to eat hotdogs from a stand.”
6. Coming Up This week. Maybe.
Probably, I will spend most of it arguing with Robin and Tasha about whether books are art or commerce. But, if I have any time left over, I am working on reviews of the latest Meljean Brook, on a review of Start Me Up by Victoria Dahl, on a post called Post Dramatic Stress Syndrome, about the bad aftereffects of reading bad romance novels, and my long delayed review of Black Silk.
Happy week!
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#1 by Carolyn Crane on October 19, 2009 - 12:41 pm
This is a fun game. I’m going with pronatalism on the rant. #A!!! Though they all sound good.
So does this mean you’re going to RomCon?
#2 by Carolyn Crane on October 19, 2009 - 12:42 pm
PS: So funny about the boy’s essays! Also, hello, what grade school class of children isn’t interested in toe fungus?
#3 by Meljean on October 19, 2009 - 1:02 pm
Khavi totally has obsidian eyes when she goes all grigori-demon mode!
But, okay, she’s not a heroine.
And, sigh, I’m totally conscious of the overuse of obsidian. Black does sneak in there, but obsidian’s connotation is one I really need for a certain hero’s eyes: a type of stone, volcanic (which I associate with demonic) and shiny.
I also RT like a fiend.
I’m still debating RomCon. After getting feedback from the conference organizers, I’m less conflicted about the whole application process (that was weird) but now it’s a matter of scheduling. Hmmm.
#4 by SarahT on October 19, 2009 - 1:21 pm
Thanks for linking to my piracy series! I’m not in any way advocating piracy. I thought it would be interesting to look a a few situations where an otherwise honest individual might be tempted into downloading illegal copies and come up with a few suggestions to prevent the situation occurring in the first place.
As for your fake/real rants: my guess is ‘C’. I’ve heard people complaining about retweeting recently. I’m not bothered by retweets but then I don’t use Google reader and therefore I follow tweets in real time. The advantage to this is that I bypass all the retweets; the disadvantage is missing interesting conversations.
#5 by azteclady on October 19, 2009 - 1:25 pm
Real rant: #3
Still pondering yesterday’s fuzzy thoughts…
And yours is one of the most interesting blogs I follow
#6 by Victoria Janssen on October 19, 2009 - 1:29 pm
BLACK SILK BLACK SILK BLACK SILK!!!
*ahem*
As for contests, I find the constant posts kind of annoying, but I know a lot of people like free books, so I don’t want to tell them to stop. I am trying to decide what to do when I get my author copies for the next one, because one does want to give some away so they will not take over one’s house. Maybe I will give one away sneakily without posting about it anywhere. Or pick a commenter from a previous blog post, or something – stealth! That’s it! You didn’t even know you entered! Or maybe you “pre-entered” the contest by walking within my peripheral vision or posting on the internet…somewhere. Or they could be dropped from Space, perhaps. *evil laughter*
#7 by Janet W on October 19, 2009 - 1:42 pm
http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Geology … I totally have the down low on obsidian and its ilk. My geology prof son says it’s pure and simple geology envy that has people liberating geological phrases and info/dumping them/makin’ metaphors outta them … in The New Yorker, in books … everywhere. I can only imagine how amusing that is for geologists
OK, contests, I’m not entering another one … too much stress on the brain and too much worry to whit: what if I don’t like the book and I got it free and so on and so forth. I don’t need a contest to make a comment. You know, of course, that this statement was an utter and complete lie if I have a chance to win the Mary Balogh A Matter of Class novella that comes out 29Dec09 … I’m going to be frigging everywhere entering contests!! I might even ask for a Kindle for Christmas so I can download it the second it’s released.
See, everyone has their tipping point
#8 by katiebabs on October 19, 2009 - 1:52 pm
I am guilty of saying I want to have babies with my books. *heads falls in shame*
#9 by Ann Marie on October 19, 2009 - 2:29 pm
I think coal anything would be too dusty for eyes. And the babies–I’m just kinda relieved to not be drowning in chocolate anymore.
We must have an enlightened writing teacher at my son’s school–he’s using construction and worm metaphors to teach concepts.
#10 by Wendy on October 19, 2009 - 2:42 pm
Don’t think I haven’t noticed that you posted about the plethora of contests on a week I’m actually having one. Ahem.
But yeah, I’m with you. Too many contests, not enough “content” can make me cranky. Which is why I think this might be the 3rd (or maybe 4th?) contest I’ve ever held in the 6 years the Bat Cave has existed. Well that, and I’m lazy. I can barely keep track of what I had for breakfast, let alone contests.
#11 by katiebabs on October 19, 2009 - 5:19 pm
Jessica, if you ever write a book I am so saying in my review for it that I want to have babies with it because it is that good!
#12 by Jane on October 19, 2009 - 5:49 pm
I don’t know who is doing the seminars at romcon. I have no plans to do any (I’m against panels as it can ruin my pleasure in conference going).
I view contests as a service for readers. They are very time consuming, expensive, and a logistical nightmare. But I like being able to offer a forum wherein readers can get free books. Who doesn’t love free books.
I don’t really understand having babies as being the ultimate compliment. I thought pregnancy was one of the worst times in my entire life.
#13 by janicu on October 19, 2009 - 6:57 pm
I choose B!
#14 by Sherry Thomas on October 19, 2009 - 7:04 pm
I was hoping my books are obsidian-free, but a search turned up an instance in DELICIOUS. Ack! Damn you, Jessica.
When I was waiting for the Junior Kidlet’s conference last week, I read a piece of his writing posted outside the classroom, on “favorite place.” He named a restaurant we visited precisely one time, during which visit he ate exactly nothing. And his deathless prose ended with “I ask my parents to take me to my favorite restaurant. Sometimes they say yes and I feel nice. Sometimes they say no and I feel okay.”
Hmm, okay.
#15 by Kate Diamond on October 19, 2009 - 9:47 pm
I want to finish my book and then I want my finished book to have babies with all the ideas in my head. Then I’ll have many baby books out in the world… wait, that wasn’t the metaphor we were going for, was it?
#16 by Nicola O. on October 19, 2009 - 11:35 pm
You crack me up, Jessica.
1. I think c. is the real rant. But they’re all kind of irritating. (don’t people eyes dilate when they’re aroused? so the pupils enlarge, the irises shrink, and thus are more black?) Obsidian works for heroes because it’s HARD. Not wussy like coal, jeez, who needs crumbly eyes?
2. Ruining sci-fi… well. *eyeroll* all you have to do is read a few of the other articles on that site to understand how much weight to give the essay. There are a number of blogs like that around. I feel sorry for the guys buying into that crap, kind of, except once they’re bought in they undoubtedly turn into raving a&&holes (assuming they’re walking the talk, which is a big assumption).
3. RomCon… Nalini Singh? Anna Campbell? *perk*
4. I got nuthin’. I don’t do audiobooks.
5. Made me snicker out loud at work. You sound like a great mom.
#17 by heidenkind on October 20, 2009 - 1:38 am
I want to have little blog babies with this post.
I think we could probably argue whether books are commerce or art into infinity…
#18 by Barbara on October 20, 2009 - 10:07 am
Thanks so much for the compliment of my layout and post, and of course for the link-back
#19 by Tumperkin on October 20, 2009 - 10:14 am
I went away for the weekend and now here are three posts to read! Luxury. I will have to think about the blogging promo one before I comment (if I comment)
Like everyone, I am guessing rant (c) is the real one. I suspect you secretly like obsidian eyes and that you are planning a family with Black Silk.
Your boys sound a hoot.
#20 by Liz on October 20, 2009 - 3:24 pm
What about the fact that, whatever adjective you use, human beings do not have black eyes? (Supernatural beings are another matter).
One of my academic interests is children’s literature, and a number of critics there have pointed out that “black” eyes are often used in stereotypical depictions of people of colour (e.g. Debbie Reese who writes a great blog on American Indians in Children’s Literature). Romance, on the other hand, seems to be full of white guys with black eyes, but it is still a careless descriptive cliche.
I think c is your real rant, but b is mine for the day.
#21 by Casee on October 20, 2009 - 3:43 pm
OMG, I am rolling re: parent-teacher conferences.
At least they can be amusing. *g*
#22 by Tessa on October 20, 2009 - 9:53 pm
Aren’t Sophia’s eyes frequently describes as obsidian in Claudia Dain’s Courtesan Chronicles? I know she has dark eyes, and they sparkle a lot, but I can’t remember if the adjective she uses is obsidian.
#23 by John on October 20, 2009 - 10:33 pm
Thanks for the link, Jessica!
Writing that reminded me that I should try to get you to read the Beggars books at some point…I think you’d find them interesting. I’m afraid I can’t think of any way to stretch them into being romances, though.
Oh, and I’ll go with C. What do we win?
#24 by Christine on October 21, 2009 - 10:47 am
I’m going with Rant A.
Gotta love those parent teacher conferences. It’s always good to find out exactly which family secrets have been plastered in the school hallway for all the world to see.
#25 by Zoe Archer on October 21, 2009 - 7:17 pm
If I can’t give away my books in contests, I’ll have to come up with alternate uses for author copies.
1) Build a fort with them.
2) Tear out the pages and use them to make a papier-mache, life-sized figures of my heroes with whom I can have my book babies.
3) Build a trebuchet on my roof and launch copies of my book at passers by, laughing maniacally whenever I bean one in the head or butt.
4) Take them all out for a nice meal but skip out on the check so they have to pay.
#26 by Jessica on October 21, 2009 - 8:35 pm
Wow, very few of you guessed correctly on the real rant! Actually, I was in a really good mood when I wrote the post, so it was hard even thinking of a real rant. But …
As for (a), yes, some folks are using the expression “I want to have babies with this book”, but I have no problem with it. I think it’s cute, actually.
As for (c), yes, there are a lot of promotions and contests going on, but it would be pretty churlish of me to complain about freebies.
The real rant is (b) obsidian. I am sick of it! I like the notion, below, that it is a “careless descriptive cliche”.
#27 by Janine on October 22, 2009 - 3:09 am
I have to disagree with this. When I was in elementary school, there was a boy in my class whose eyes were so dark that we could not distinguish between the iris and the pupil. I would call those black eyes.
#28 by Tessa on October 22, 2009 - 9:19 am
I have seen two guys like this recently on the Metro. Interestingly I noticed it because they were both white and so it was pretty startling to see eyes that dark. And thinking about it now, I have noticed it more with guys than women, and I am an equal opportunity people watcher.
I do agree though, that the term “obsidian” is rather cliche and often used to describe people of colour. And having noticed eyes like this recently, I would also have to say that they didn’t look very obsidian at all. Hmm, what might a better descriptor be?
#29 by azteclady on October 22, 2009 - 10:55 am
My mother and son have really dark brown eyes, and it’s often difficult to distinguish their pupils from the irises–except under direct sunlight.
Would it be a terrible solecism to refer to their eyes, casually, as black? Particularly since I’ve known from an early age (thanks to my science-inclined older brothers) that humans do not have true-black eyes?
#30 by Liz on October 22, 2009 - 3:15 pm
I see how I could have sounded like I was saying “if you call someone’s eyes black you’re a racist.” But what I meant was this:
I have read a number of comments by people of color discussing how they (and children they know) are hurt by stereotypical descriptions of non-white characters that look at those people as types, not as individuals. These critics were pointing out that writers who rely on shorthand common descriptions like “black eyes” (or obsidian!), rather than really looking at people and thinking about what they look like, are perpetuating stereotypes in ways that can be harmful or painful for some readers.
Black eyes, though specifically mentioned in these discussions, are hardly the most egregious example, but it’s part of a larger pattern.
So even though romance heroes with black eyes are (sadly) mostly white, I cringe whenever I see that description now.
Perhaps it’s not surprising to see such descriptive tics in romance, since, like other genres, it often trades in types (and I don’t mean that as a criticism–one of the pleasures in reading it is coming upon old friends in new forms).