UPDATE: On October 16, in honor of the birthdate of Kathleen Winsor, author of Forever Amber, please consider posting your top 16 romance novels. Thanks to Maili for idea. If the thought of “all time” faves daunts you, just post what strikes you as 16 of your faves on that day — no commitment to keep the list in perpetuity.
1. Links of interest:
Kristie(j) has a post up at Access Romance Readers’ Gab called “Five Things I’ll Never Say: Confessions of an Avid Reader” which makes me feel, as BevQB beautifully put it, “lower than a subterranean slug” because I am sure I have said one or more of them in my time. Go check it out.
Wendy the Superlibrarian is over at Borders True Romance talking about heroines. And you know I was nodding my head in agreement at the part where she says she wants heroines with backbone. I mean, homo sapiens is a vertebrate species. Are we really asking for too much?
SonomaLass has introduced a new rating system for book reviews: Win and Fail, with Made of Win and Made of Fail reserved for exceptional outliers. It’s brilliant. I am thinking of adopting it for my students (kidding!)
2. Sometimes, the nicest thing anybody says to me all day … is what my spammers say.
Spam comments like “Nice blog. I visit oftener.” or “Thank for good job!” or even “их больше было О_о” which I am sure means “You are beautiful and so is your blog!” really make my day, when they are not pissing me the fuck off.
3. Covers
We spend a lot of time talking about covers in Romanceland. Or rather, you guys do. While I dislike misleading covers (sexy covers for chaste books, heroes and heroines not as described by the author, etc.), I honestly don’t care much about them. I thought I might try to be positive and share a few images of those covers I really like but … I can’t think of any.
I think some political and social cover discussions are interesting — the Liar discussion, for example, or this collection of Nurse Romance Novel Covers at the University of Wisconsin Milwaukee. But when it comes to aesthetics, I draw a blank.
Cover art it is not an art form I really know how to admire. What do you look for in it?
4. When I need a laugh
A lot of folks visit Cakewrecks, which is truly very funny. However, I prefer www.Despair.com. It would be hard to overstate my dislike for motivational posters, on both moral and aesthetic grounds, or for life coaches, motivational speakers, or social media experts. I feel the people at Despair.com understand me perfectly. Here are a few of my favorites: On cluelessness, on winners, and on madness.
5. Pubic hair
This is one of those comments I may come to regret, especially if I find out one day that my rabbi or great aunt reads this blog, but I confess that every time I read that a heroine’s pubic hair is “tidy” or “neat”, I get a little nervous. That is probably the only area on my body that I never think about in the third person. Oh sure, I realize it is important try to avoid showing up at the local pool looking like Robin Williams as a preoperative transsexual, but other than that, it’s off my vanity radar.
I first became aware that there are beauty standards for this area of the body by reading JR Ward. Ward’s heroes, instead of thinking, “Am I about to commit a felony with a prepubescent girl? I’m outtie, you feel me?”, when they got a look at the hairless wonder that is the female vampire, seemed to love the idea of — erm — unbuttered bread (?).
Then, I was watching The Girls Next Door — only for research purposes, of course — and I noticed Holly walking down the hallways of the Playboy magazine offices deriding the “bushes” on the cover bunnies of the 1990s.
This is not exactly something you chat about with other moms at the busstop (but it’s perfectly ok to talk about it on your blog, which hundreds of complete strangers read, naturally), so I am ignorant except for my romance novel reading, which more and more frequently seems to refer to women’s — but not men’s — pubic hair in the controlled, tamed, bounded terms of which even Foucault would be proud.
When I grew up, not only did kids walk 10 miles in the snow to get to school, but men had to plow through miles of bush to get to their special destinations. Songs like “Push Push in the Bush” were hits, and Playboy and Penthouse were fighting the “pubic wars” to see who could show more hair down there (for a very NSFW pictorial of those hairy 1970s centerfolds, visit this blog). I am not sure I am ready for this Shaved New World.
6. We are on fall break, a lovely thing.
Happy week everyone!
Uhg, what is the thing with shaved pubic hair? I can’t imagine having the time to actively think about such a thing at the level that I would 1. criticize other people’s erm, carpets, and 2. go through the pain and embarrassment of having it professionally waxed. Not to mention the fact that it just smacks of the sexual infantilization of women (not to sound like an over-edumacated feminazi or anything…).
Oh my, you haven’t forgotten about JenB’s infamous post have you?
I’m taking the the 5th on this one. But I’ll say I lean more your way than Jen’s.
This ‘everyone is shaved’ things sounds like a very American perspective – in Europe, people are much more relaxed about hairy legs, pits and pubes.I refuse to let porn magazines/movie set the standard for how I groom what doesn’t show. Personally, I shave my legs when I can’t pull my trousers on for the bulk
Spouse likes armpit hair, and as for the nether regions – well, my dears, all I can say is that enjoy it while you have it, because as you get older, things start to, erm, disappear.
I love that rating system! I vote for its immediate and compulstory adoption
One of the things that bugs me about blog commentary on pubic hair is bloggers who seem to have an expectation that their heroines should be “outfitted” as the reader expects them to be. I’m not talking about this post, but others I’ve read.
Women have hair. It’s okay to have hair. If it’s who the character is to need to control and trim or rip off that hair, then it’s who the character is. If it’s part of the world-building (a la Ward) where all vamps are hairless, including the men… *shrug*
The thing that gets me is when it’s clearly the author’s kink to have a character outfitted a particular way. Lora Leigh comes to mind. She had an animal-hybrid woman voluntarily wax her bits. You ever tried to pull hair out of a cat? It ain’t gonna happen. To me, that’s clearly an instance where the author is writing in something that goes against characterization.
I’m okay with whatever works for the character. If she’s a natural bush woman in all other aspects, I don’t expect to hear about bare flesh on her private bits. If she’s a control-needing CEO type who has enjoyed an active sex life prior to the introduction of the hero, then maybe her private bits are subject to her controlling tendencies as well.
Then again, you take those expectations and slap the pubic hair of one archetype on the other woman and you have a contradiction that might make the character even more interesting. That is if the author cares enough about the pubic hair to not only describe, but also explain it.
@Nicola O.: thank you for the link. I had NOT forgotten Jen’s post (who could?), but I couldn’t find it.
@Ann Somerville: Ann, you are right, I am being very US-centric in my comments. But even here there is a range.
However, the days when I was on high school swim team and we shaved mohawks into our hairy shins are probably long gone.
Ann write, “all I can say is that enjoy it while you have it, because as you get older, things start to, erm, disappear.”
I was expecting the head hair and brows, but … Et tu, pubis???!!!
@Venus Vaughn: “She had an animal-hybrid woman voluntarily wax her bits. You ever tried to pull hair out of a cat? It ain’t gonna happen.”
LOL. I agree with you — whatever works for the character is right.
But I also think there are some beauty standards in romance across characters and subgenres which are pretty inflexible, and say much more about us than about the character or setting of the book.
For example, all different types of skin color are found, but no acne or facial disfigurement. All different hairstyles, but no baldness. All different heights, but no heroines who are much taller than the hero (in het romance of course).
I think shaved pubes are becoming more required and less a sign of character or setting. The references to public hair I have read lately are always modified by “neat”, “trimmed” etc. I could be totally wrong, of course!
I’m so with you on the pubes!!! Also, I always think, if you shaved down there, what about the stubble? The five o’clock shadow. (Or the nine o’clock shadow. Or the six a.m. shadow?)
@Carolyn Crane: Never mind the stubble, the itching kills you first.
Not that I’m speaking from personal experience or anything
I just have to say…if you know a good waxer, it’s not that bad. And trust me–it’s for YOU, not for him. If you know what I mean.
(I mean everything feels awesome! Don’t knock it till you’ve tried it, seriously. ; )
I’m with Louisa…bread should be unbuttered for girls…I get a little weirded out with all the hair talk in romance scenes. Maybe not so much in a historical, but modern day – there needs to be more waxin going on. Except for the dudes…
1. I’ve known for a long time that Kristie(j) is a better woman than I am. I’ve said all those things in the past, will almost certainly say them in the future, and expect I won’t lose a nanosecond’s sleep over any of them. I will, however, try to feel guilty every once in a while.
2. Thank for good job, Jessica. (Seriously. This post made me laugh, always a good thing on a Monday.)
3. I appreciate good covers, and snort over really bad ones, but for the most part I don’t think too much about them.
4. My favorite cake on Cakewreck was one done for a baby shower which showed the happy mother-to-be in the process of giving birth. It was memorable, and could be used in an abstinence-only school sex-ed class.
5. As the mother of two adult daughters I can attest to the fact that there is a generational divide on this that nothing can bridge. I’m still not quite sure where my daughters got the initial idea, but it predates their becoming sexually active, and is as much a part of their routines as showering. They think I’m archaic, and I’ve learned not to let them in the dressing room when I am shopping for swimsuits.
And, as Ann Somerville commented, like the eyebrow, arm, and leg hair, the pubes become much less of an issue once you pass a certain age. I only regret the thinning of the eyebrows, since shaping becomes kind of an exercise in futility.
@Louisa Edwards:
See, now this is not something I would ever have considered. You all teach me so many important things!
also — I have added an update to this post, an official call for THE WINSOR LISTS. Please post your top 16 romances on Friday October 16 in honor of the birthday of the author of Forever Amber.
Okay. On the hair down there thing. I wouldn’t worry too much about it. I was all concerned about this very problem but then I asked my friend who has encountered . . . erm . . . yes, well let’s just say surveys have been done. Anyhow, apparently there are many levels of grooming out there so no need to panic.
Also, JR Ward’s vampires have questionable taste in both women and practically everything else. Am I wrong?
Well, at least anal bleaching hasn’t taken hold.
I don’t prefer full waxing because it’s THERE. THERE. THERE. Every time you take a step. I think SJP said it best in Sex in the City when she was “very aware of down there” and feels like “she’s nothing but walking sex”. So, maybe shaving symbolizes the heroine’s ‘uncovered’ sexuality and her embrace of it ?
Unbuttered bread! I’ve never heard it put that way. Natural or waxed is fine with me. I’m not sure if bare-down-there is appropriate for my heroines or storylines so far, but maybe someday I’ll work it in. Or maybe not, LOL. I think it can add eroticism to a love scene. Trimmed is okay. Better than “cloud” or whatever. For men, too. Not a big fan of the fro look.
I will admit to having had a Brazilian wax. Once. The pain was brief but indescribable. I also felt uncomfortable looking like a prepubescent girl.
You know there are pubic hair wigs available, right? Apparently, Kate Winslet had to wear one for the The Reader. It’s a weird old world for sure.
So far I’ve gotten around this issue in my manuscripts by not referring to pubic hair at all. That way the reader’s imagination can supply the details she prefers. So that’s another possible approach.
I agree Venus, the “one size fits all” mentality is irritating. An author who has all her characters like the same things and behave in the same ways gets very annoying.
Wasn’t it Dragonfly in Amber when Claire gets the whole kit and kaboodle — in the hair arena — removed in Paris? Which made her reminiscent of 20th century life. The thing is, I can’t access my books right now so I can’t remember what Jamie said but I know it was so Jamie, so perfect.
I agree that one size fits all doesn’t suit me but I prefer writers who don’t feel the necessity of referring one way or another … altho OK, who could forget the Linda Howard book, he’s the Air Force ace, she’s the gal with at least a couple PhDs and it’s the view below the bellybutton that convinces him that he was wrong when he thought her hair was a “only her hairdresser” knows for sure job.
Jessica, could you give us the link to Maili’s site? I’d like to do a small post in advance of the 16 Friday but want to credit properly. Thanks!
Louisa, hmmm. More for me than him? Like Jessica, this never occurred to me, but now I’m sort of interested.
Well, if I go for an experiment, I’ll probably not report in. Though, who knows. I might be really hurting for blog material at that point.
Hmm.. I wouldn’t be so sure that Europeans are not shaved. Most of the people around me are. And it’s unnormal if your not, especially if you are a teenager.
Used to be, in art women had no pubic hair, in pornography they did.
Now in art they have pubic hair and in pornography they don’t.
It will swing back around.
At some point.
Kate,
the best way is to refer to her twitter handle, http://twitter.com/mcvane. McVane is not her last name, but her first name — at least online — is Maili.
Ackk!! *laughing* I didn’t mean to make anyone feel bad. I often think those things too – I just won’t put them in public *g*
And I accepted your challenge!! I just did my top 16 – though it could easily have been my top 50 as there is very little room between some of them! It’s set to post on the 16th. Of course I sped read this and posted it already – but then I fixed things so it would go on Wednesday!
Jessica, I can’t help myself… do you realize that on your first reply you have “publis”?
Azteclady: Oh, I meant “pubis”, as in “et tu Brutus”. will fix!
Kristie: Yippee! I can’t wait to read your list.
Thanks, Jessica! Now to think of a list…yum.
Aw, Jessica, I had no idea you had linked to my new rating system. Thanks! So glad you like it — and you too, Ann! I am finding it wonderfully freeing, and I’m much less lazy about posting quick book responses now that I just have to say WIN or FAIL. I’m a little compulsive about grading and scoring, being a wacky academic, and sometimes even the five stars at Goodreads intimidate me so that I don’t post at all.
Maili knows how I feel about top X lists, but I think I can manage to pick 16 romance novel WINS. I will have to list them alphabetically, though, or chronologically, because I am no damned good at hierarchical thinking. Or so I’ve been told.
And I’m laughing my ass off at “Et tu, Pubis?”!
@SonomaLass:
Good! I make like one joke a month, so I want credit when I come up with a decent one.
OMFG, I was familiar with Cake Wrecks and often enjoy browsing through the disasters there. Thanks for the Despair.com link, I adore that kind of stuff.
As for the pubes — rotflmfao!! My mom told me when I was a teen that shaving everything off down there is degrading for a woman, as it reduces you to pre-womanness or something. She clearly has not ever watched porn in her life. These days she’ll spout off about a lot of stuff that I just nod sagely about.
My list is up. I already saw Kristie’s and Wendy’s and now I have more good stuff I want to read. I hope we’ll see lots of lists today. It’s always fun to see what others love. It’s pretty clear from mine that I’m a Regency junkie.
You can find mine here.
I posted my list!!!
Here: http://thethrillionthpage.blogspot.com/2009/10/kathleen-winsor-tribute-my-top-16.html
I finally visited despair.com.
I think I’m a cold bitch, but boy, I’m not quite cold bitch enough for some of their posters. The Failure one is kind of heartbreaking.
(When newer writers ask me whether they should attend RWA Nationals, sometimes I ask them whether they can handle the visceral truth that most of the two thousand women they’ll see are chasing after the same few open slots available. Maybe a little delusion and hubris is helpful at times.)
Both the Sacrifice ones, however, crack me up.
Yes, some of the depairwear is harsh. Normally, I like to try to be empathetic and supportive, but sometimes it really fits my mood.
RWA sounds exactly like the American Philosophical Association annual meeting — thousands of unemployed people interviewing for jobs they will not get. I think I will feel very much at home there.