Tump, you could think of a blog as a column, and the comments as letters to the columnist. Just with less delay than a newspaper.

Every time I come to this website I’m reminded of how little I actually think in my own spare time. You ladies have such active minds–mine just go into mere reaction mode.

This comment is in response to Tumperkin’s first comment about the issue of sanctioning. I still think the front lawn analogy applies. You can shout at kids to get off your lawn. You can even erect a fence around your lawn–and you are within your rights.

But you really can’t stop a determined troublemaker from pissing on your lawn if it’s his/her purpose in life. Just as a real cyber-heckler can manage to comment on your blog from a library computer or someone else’s laptop under all kinds of handles.

The legality or not of asking people to leave–and I am certainly no lawyer–would be similar to that of asking people to leave a restaurant or a townhall meeting, let’s say. If the guests/visitors are disruptive, no one will dispute the host’s right in expelling them, even if it is a public forum.

But for some, anything goes.

I think Sherry’s analogy of blogs being like front yards is extremely accurate, at least along the lines of romance reader blogs and most other blogspot blogs I visit.

Along those lines, I try to remember that even if you are a blogger with a seemingly small audience (like me), and while you may feel like your yard is very private like say in a remote or rural area, the truth of the matter is that you’re just as exposed for all the world to see as the blogger with a large audience whose yard is analogous to a place in the city. I was reminded of this the hard way when I was feeling way too comfortable and confident about who was reading my blog (it’s not just the people who leave comments) and I ended up hurting someone deeply when my words and the intention behind them was misconstrued. Anyone can read what you have to say, anywhere, anytime no matter how private you think your yard is. It makes me think twice (or thrice) before clicking the submit button.

I realize my comment is probably a little off topic, but the discussion here today reminded me of this important lesson about “private” blogging and its very “public” audience.

I soon decided I didn’t like that and once I had other reviewers on the blog it didn’t work because ‘I’ am redwyne. Don’t ask my mind works in odd ways. So ‘goodbadanduread’ was bought.

BUT ‘I’ am redwyne. I picked the usename when I was 17 and have always used it. And at the time HATED the idea that if I just released it I didn’t want it to become a spam site… so I still own redwyne.com.

LOL it is just ‘parked’ at TGTBTU (LOL which I own as well… and yes I stopped at three but isn’t tgtbtu.com cute ::innocent blink::)

My biggest conundrum is what to post and not post in comments because criticism of any sort in Romland is often not at all appreciated and perhaps rightly so, because: a) it’s NOT your blog so b) should one post publically — keep that convo going? or c) private communication … who knows what the right answer is. I think by and large, not deleting comments is the way I’d want to go if I were a blogger. Fury, disappointment, joy: they all mean a reader is invested in your blog.

Carolyn – uv you. Ice cream trucks! Only you…

Nicola – yes but who is the editor?

Janet – I don’t seem to have the same sense of possessiveness about my blog that the other commenters here have. That’s not to say I don’t regard it as ‘mine’ – I do. But I don’t think, to use your words, that it’s ‘my terms’ or ‘my rules’.

Jill – that’s a very good point about ‘intimacy’. The intimacy of having a small blog (like me) can give a sense of privacy.

Jessica – I think there’s a disconnect between what it feels like and what it actually is. This is partly to do with the language and notions we all buy into when we go online (space metaphors etc.) and partly because of perceptions. In the real world, our perceptions are formed by our senses. We can see who we are surrounded by and how they react to what we are doing (whether in public and private). That’s not possible on the web.

Sybil – I agree re deleting comments. As I said, I’ve only done it once because it was an incoherent rant of 95% swear words. (In response to a post about swearing admittedly). Even then, I felt uncomfortable about it. I suppose that demonstrates that I have some sense of ownership though.

Bringing all of that together, I suppose my blog feels a bit like one notice on a big public noticeboard. I’ve put it together with some care but I know that by pinning up there, I can’t control what’s going to happen anymore. That doesn’t stop me being annoyed when someone defaces it. But I knew that might happen.

LOL yes that I forgot to answer what I meant by the ‘mine, mine, mine’ comment Jessica said it perfectly as always but of course the url would be different for me *eg*.

Like I said I don’t believe in deleting comments – why have a blog, why ask for an exchange of ideas and conversation if you only want what you agree with or want to hear? I don’t see someone disagreeing with me as a bad thing. Good thing as many people do, often…

Maybe it goes to how the blog owner wants to run the blog. Like you pointed out, a blogger can set that comments on moderated. Or you can turn off comments all together and only shout out your views without allowing anyone the chance to shout back.

You could make your space private and have only registered members or who knows whatelse (lol as you can see I haven’t looked into it much). It is still on the internet, which is hard to ‘own’. Maybe there isn’t an answer that will fit everyone.

But the thing that makes the “place” analogy problematic, the reason the “flyers on a wall” or “graffiti” analogies draw me at all, is because anyone can and will “come by” this blog, unlike my house or lawn.

My coworkers would never dream of coming to my house at night to see what I am up to, but they could easily surf here anytime.

When I blog, I picture a certain very specific audience: other bloggers and readers of romance. I am not thinking about coworkers, colleagues in my field, friends, or even romance authors. When Jill or Sherry or Carolyn post here on a topic like this, I see them as fellow readers.

I definitely sound different, talk about different things, and in a different way, if I am talking to a different group.

“Private” to me means different things:
– “my personal life, what I do when I am not ‘on’”, even if others can see it [this is compatible with the activity being "public"
-- "accessible only to those who I allow in", to a very few normally
--and "a sphere I control" [this is also compatible with the blog being "public"]

I guess I started out seeing the blog as “private” in the 2nd sense (stupidly), and now I see it as private in the first sense and third.

I think of it like being out at a bar with friends in town on Friday night. I may act differently than I do as a soccer mom or a professor, I may “let loose” a little. But I don’t take it as license to be an asshole or an idiot. If students are present at the bar, they know not to do more than say hello or wave — they are giving me my space. I expect some students and colleagues know about this blog — I haven’t tired hard at all to hide it or my identity — but by not posting my last name or university name, I am sending a message similar to what I give off at the bar, which is, “I am off duty. Don’t engage with me on this platform unless we have a relationship on these terms (i.e. you are a romance reader).”