What results when the Hemlock Society and Hospice Foundation of America join forces on a new Harlequin line.
In this book, one of Silhouette’s Fortune’s Children series from the 1990s, Renee Riley and Garrett Fortune meet at the Final Destination Ranch. Now, I don’t know about you, but if I booked a trip to the Final Destination Ranch, I am pretty sure I would get my affairs in order and bring clean underwear.
Look again at that cover. Those are heavenly clouds if I ever saw them (with apologies to Lauren Dane, I’m pretty sure I can make out Sweet Baby Jesus on his skateboard up there). The hero is feverish: he likely needs his pain meds upped. Our ill-fated heroine is already slipping away, as evidenced by her conspicuous lack of consciousness. With her nearly transparent body, Renee has raised the stakes for heroines everywhere: see-through lingerie is looking pretty timid by comparison.
I was excited about my first end-of-life romance. What would the hero grunt when he sheathed himself? “So loose! So cold! And so dry!”
Would Jack Kevorkian perform the marriage ceremony?
And what would become of the horses?
Alas, while I was hoping for my first literal HEA, it turns out nobody is actually dying. Garrett Fortune is surprised by the fact that women want him for his — erm — fortune. And virginal debutante Renee is surprised that men want her for her — erm — virginal debutantery (debutantish virginality?). They decide to want each other for the hot sex instead.
This is really funny. OMG, hospice brochures ALWAYS have those clouds! Literal HEA. Snort.
However, after my many displays of gullibility over april fools, I’m trying to decide: is it true the ranch in the book is named final destination ranch? Anyway, great post!
carolyn jean wrote:
YES!!! you think I could make this shit up?
Here’s the cover copy:
Fortune’s Children: The Brides: Meet the Fortune Brides – six special women who perpetuate a family legacy greater than mere riches!
Thanks for commenting. I was worried I had offended the blogosphere with this one!
:chuckling:
Sorry, Jessica, I just didn’t have anything to say
Me too, Azteclady. I’m ashamed – after promising faithfully to become a comments whore!
Tumperkin wrote:
Really!! Where are all the “great post”s you promised to start dispensing like candy around here. We had a deal, sister!
@ azteclady: Thank you! My blog seems to have cooties this week. I think it’s time for some man titty and peen.
~What would the hero grunt when he sheathed himself? “So loose! So cold! And so dry!”~
Romance novel humor! Luv it.