[...] many other great reviews of Practice Makes Perfect have been written, so I’m not going to go into a lot of [...]

[...] the gender issues touched on in the book (many of which were articulated so well by Jessica in her review of PMP at Racy Romance Reviews); our personal experiences working in male-dominated professions; whether [...]

[...] heroine” usually fills me with an unnameable dread. But after reading Jessica’s take on the gender politics and feminism in the book I decided I should read it myself since her review was very positive and I figured that if she [...]

Tumperkin wrote:

I realise though that many women are very far from being as fortunate as me.

Amen to that.

I was going to comment that I wondered about the future of a relationship between two such different people, but the more I thought about it, the less they really seemed different to me.

I did enjoy the book, and luckily for me, am quite fond of romantic suspense.

I’m no apologist for The Way Things Are but equally, I think it’s important to be honest. I realise though that many women are very far from being as fortunate as me.

Guess which one is the mother?

When I was in grad school, I had three women faculty out of 25. All were married, non were mothers. The message was very clear: you are going to have to choose. Thankfully I didn’t, but the ranks of my female cohort who had to give up academia to be the kind of parents they wanted to be are very full.

You make a great point about the glass ceiling not being something simply externally imposed. And I would never say that someone’s desire to have children and mother in a way that she feels is appropriate is the result of evil patriarchal conditioning. I do lament the fact that anyone — women or men — have to make this choice, I lament the fact that working class and poor women often do not have the luxury of making it, and also that more men don’t make it, and also that the work of parenting itself is not valued in our culture the way, say, legal work is, such that when women like you make the choices you do, you are not made economically vulnerable.

1. I am a feminist but this is not an easy thing, this issue of equal treatment in the workplace. For me personally, the notion of the glass ceiling is overly simplistic. The day I became pregnant, my career ambitions began to wane. That happened to me. I am part of my own glass ceiling – and yes I recognise that part of that is gender conditioning and all that – but still. I’m incredibly invested in what I do, but I’m not prepared to work all the hours and I come in late in the morning after the school run and work 4 out of 5 days. Do I seriously expect the management of my firm to select for partnership someone who isn’t prepared to invest as much time and commitment in the role as another (male) person? No. (Incidentally, my husband also works 4 days out of 5 and so I have at least the comfort of equality at home!)

2. It’s interesting that you bring up the role of a female litigator in a gender driven case. I have experience of a case (a commercial case but it involved the sex industry) in which we thought long and hard about what gender and personality the advocate of the case should be. I think we called it wrong. Me – I don’t have any issue with any case I’m asked to present provided that it is within the legal and ethical boundaries of my profession. My job is to be my client’s agent and there is a mind-shift involved in taking on that role. Personal feelings have to be put aside and I’ve never found that difficult. That said, I’ve never been in a position of being asked to pursue or defend something I have a major issue with.

3. Yes, JD is very typical – by the sound of him – of so many men of the profession. But whereas (at least in my corner of the world) 20 years ago, men like that could almost expect to be made a partner, now a much smaller fraction of them will be. That sort of easy privilege has and is being chipped away at (though not really, in my view, because of women in the workplace – more because of commercial considerations and a massive increase in the numbers entering the profession). I know many male lawyers who feel embattled and I see that that’s hard for someone in that position (whilst giving no quarter about why it’s hard(er?) for me). In my position, a man may well feel like a failure. But I can treat myself as a success because I’ve exercised a choice not to reach for that.

I could write so much more but I’ll content myself with saying that you’ve probably persuaded me to pick up a book I normally would never read.

Wow – fascinating review and fascinating discussions. this book isn’t on the shelves here but I had already made up my mind (after reading JTSMA) that I was going to read this one too.

Well, I don’t have the power of The Kristie (a la Broken Wing) but I’m happy to do my part to share my enjoyment of this book! You will really like it, esp if you enjoyed her first.

@ carolyn jean: