Aside from unfortunate googles, the only person in my RL who knows about my blog is my husband and a few pals, and none of them read it. Anything else would cramp my style.

I think that being any kind of writer though (and that includes a blogger) means that you have to be revealing of yourself. Just as if you want to swim, you have to show up at the pool in a bathing suit. Sure, you could stay at home covered from head to toe, but then you’d miss out on something worth experiencing.

This is a great point. I’ve been thinking about that — how even when you are blogging under your own identity (semi anon as it is), it’s never the full truth of you, but the way you felt or saw something at that moment. You can claim it without admitting that it defines you. I think there are a lot of parallels to fiction writing. but that’s a whole nother kettle of fish!

Laura,

sorry to out you!

Th question about email sharing is a good one which I would personally love to think more about, but I’m about to unplug for a while and will have to put it on the Wall of Think instead.

You’re right that the need to confess or share or reveal is not new. I guess it’s the telling of stories about ourselves that help us make sense of ourselves to ourselves and to others.

Oh noooo! Jessica has revealed that we shared emails! Some people might think email sharing is something that should be kept secret, between consenting adults.

OK, I’ll try and be serious about this. That comment reminded me that although we’ve discussed blogs and privacy, we haven’t so far mentioned emails and privacy. No doubt this is because it’s somewhat off-topic, but I will boldly go there anyway. There I have been a couple of occasions that I’ve noticed (and I’m sure many more that I haven’t noticed) on which readers have sent an email to authors or bloggers, and presumably they assumed that the email would stay private, but the person to whom they sent it published it on their blog for everyone to read. In the cases I remember, the name of the person who wrote the email wasn’t given, but the publishing of the emails still caused lots of comment and discussion about privacy and confidentiality.

I wonder if the amount and nature of communications technology we’ve got makes it more and more difficult to retain privacy. Recently I read an article about privacy which suggested that with the internet, mobile phones, CCTV etc it may be that things only really remain private if we think them but never express them at all:

everyone is now in the public eye: tracked as we walk the streets by 4m CCTV cameras protecting us from crimes for which we might then be arrested if our DNA is in the state database.

At least when we reach the office, we may be lost to surveillance – unless a colleague is training a mobile on us or reporting a remark. This is the way we live now. Until the arrival of thought-reading devices, everyone will have to live like a reality TV star, imagining a microphone roped round their neck.

And yet, like the barber who found out that King Midas had ass’s ears, many?/most? of us do want to share what we know. There’s always been gossip, and lots of people over the years have kept diaries. So I’m not sure there’s anything particularly new in the feelings which lie behind you writing that

I find myself tempted to blog about my day sometimes. Why is that? Is it our confessional culture? Our need for publicity?

What very definitely is new is the ease with which we can now communicate with lots of people, and perhaps because of the internet and reality TV we think of ourselves as part of a community which in reality is extremely large, so what might once have been limited to a quiet gossip between a couple of people now ends up in blog posts available for much of the world to read or on TV for millions to see.

But I am still revealing something of a sexual nature about myself, on some level, or at least it feels that way to me.

I’m frankly a lot more nervous about people I know in real life reading my fiction, than about them reading my bloggings. The thought of relatives reading sex scenes I have written really makes me squirm. It’s something I pretend will never happen when I write.

I think that being any kind of writer though (and that includes a blogger) means that you have to be revealing of yourself. Just as if you want to swim, you have to show up at the pool in a bathing suit. Sure, you could stay at home covered from head to toe, but then you’d miss out on something worth experiencing.

I’ve always been mindful that no matter how much I think the blog is private, I’m always aware that, in fact the blog is public and may/will be found by people who know me. I only write about what I’m willing to discuss as a public manner.

This is a good rule, although it is very tempting to break it sometimes!

It will be interesting to see what comes of your blog address getting out in RL.

Nicole wrote:

I am more willing now to tell people…but I feel its a private thing. Something I am doing just for me.

I feel this way too, like if it’s public, then suddenly I have these responsibilities. I’m not sure why I think that, but I definitely do.

JenB wrote:

For all I know, they think I read inspirational romance and classic literature. (OMG, if they only knew.)

It’s the fact that I do a lot of blogging on work time that could bite me in the butt.

ROFL!

As for blogging during work, yes, that’s tricky. I try not to do it — you’ll notice I usually post before 7:00am or after 6:00pm, but I do look at comments and sometimes can’t help reply during the day. Definitely a no no, even if I am, as I tell myself, on lunch break.

Bridget Locke wrote:

It’s nobodies business…really, it’s not.

I hear you on that one.

Nicola O. wrote:

I am a strong believer that the romance genre will continue to be marginalized as long as the readers themselves are defensive and secretive about reading it.

I also believe that conversations about sex & sexuality are far too shrouded in shame and secrecy in American culture. I try to walk a line between practicing what I preach and still living, working, and parenting within that society.

This is really well said. I was thinking about the difference between shameful secrecy and privacy (and Laura and I shared a few emails about this a while back).

For example, my sex life is private. I am not ashamed of it in any way, but for one thing, I owe it to my partner not to blab, and for another, it’s nobody’s business but ours. So, it’s private, but not a shameful secret.

However, I feel this line is very hard to draw when reviewing romances in some ways. For example, I am not gay, so when I write that Josh Lanyon’s explicit scenes are hot, nobody assumes I am a gay man. But I am still revealing something of a sexual nature about myself, on some level, or at least it feels that way to me. I have found this one of the more challenging things about blogging about romance. I am a very private person in RL.

On the other hand, I have so enjoyed and admired all of the forthright talk about sexy books that you ladies manage on your blogs.

Janice wrote:

Now I also keep a pseudonymous journal on another site with most of the content available only to identified others in the system. That fills my need for all the random acts of blogging that I don’t think are fit for parent, sister, children or students!

I find that “need” so puzzling, and yet I seem to have it, too. I find myself tempted to blog about my day sometimes. Why is that? Is it our confessional culture? Our need for publicity?

The reverse is harder, but not impossible. I use the same email address for my blog as I do for everything else — word of caution, if you want your worlds to remain separate, use separate email addys.

I had sort of thought to keep my facebook stuff strictly social, but I have a few work friends on there now. It causes me a bit of discomfort and moments of hesitation around posting things like my infamous Penis Post, but on the other hand, I am a strong believer that the romance genre will continue to be marginalized as long as the readers themselves are defensive and secretive about reading it.

I also believe that conversations about sex & sexuality are far too shrouded in shame and secrecy in American culture. I try to walk a line between practicing what I preach and still living, working, and parenting within that society.

So, I self-censor to some extent (a comment that never was on JenB’s pubic hair post, frex!) but in exchange for that, I am free with my identity, which frees me from the worry that someone will find me out. I know I’m not smart enough to mask my IP address or stuff like that, so anyone with an iota of network savvy could find me out pretty easily anyway.

If people in the RW figured out who I was, well, good for them, but like you I’m not going to pronounce it to the world. It’s nobodies business…really, it’s not.

My husband knows about my blog and I’ve showed him a few posts on it. My boss and co-workers know I have a blog, but I’ve never showed it to any of them. I’m an insurance agent and I have a really casual job, so the content could never get me in trouble. It’s the fact that I do a lot of blogging on work time that could bite me in the butt. My closest friends know I have a blog, but I’ve never bothered to show it to them either. I have Facebook and MySpace for the “real life” stuff. It’s kind of nice to get away from all that and keep my blogging/reviewing separate from real life.