In which I trash a beloved scene in a beloved film.
From day 1 of “Triple R”, as my spouse calls this blog, I have wanted to do a regular feature on moral reasoning in romance. Why? Because it’s how I read romance: for the moral muddles (okay, and for the man titty).
You might be wondering if we really need another column on moral dilemmas in Romancelandia. Silly! Of course we do! Smart Bitches Trashy Books recently introduced a regular feature in which they offer advice, romance style, to readers, based on what they’ve learned from romance novels. And Karen Scott introduced Moral Dilemma Fridays, which has nothing to do with romance, but invites readers to ponder things like whether they should return a stolen wallet.
Mine is a bit different, since I’m talking about moral issues in fiction, not real life. Typically, I’ll write about books, but with the holidays just behind us, the film Love Actually got a lot of play, and I was reminded of my unpopular opinion about this popular film. (Future installments will be more open ended and less ranty, I promise!)
Juliet and Peter get married, and Juliet visits the best man, Mark, who has always been cold to her, to obtain a copy of his wedding video. Mark’s video is actually a series of closeups of Juliet’s radiant face, and Juliet realizes that not only does Mark not hate her, he is in love with her. This was a really nice scene, heartbreaking (and Miss Lock Jaw’s second best performance, after The Phantom Menace). And that should have been that.
But then, on Christmas Eve, Mark shows up at Juliet and Peter’s door, poses as a caroler, and declares his love for Juliet with cue cards. Here it is:
httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=idHrz_xqwsk
Many people think this is the most romantic scene in the film. They sympathize with Mark, and view Mark and Juliet as the real lovers.
I can’t figure that out. I actually wonder — at the risk of pissing people off – if race (Peter is black) is a factor (perhaps subconsciously) for some. Anyway, I did not sympathize with Mark, whom I found lacking in several ways:
1. Weakness of will: Can you help whom you are attracted to? Maybe not, but you can decide what to do about the attraction. If the object of your affection is forbidden fruit, you probably have an obligation to try to nip it in the bud. Think about baseball or universal health care or acorn squash instead of her rosy lips. Do not make a loving video of her and watch it over and over.
2. Disloyalty: Peter is his best friend. A good moral test is the publicity test: how would Mark have felt if everyone, Peter included, knew what he was about? If he has to hide it, it’s probably not ok.
3. Dishonesty: I found it ironic that one of the cue cards said, “At Christmas, you tell the truth”, because Mark was, in effect, lying to Peter by declaring his love surreptitiously. And he was encouraging Juliet to join in the lie, which she did. How about a cue card that read, “At Christmas, you lie and encourage others to join you in deceit”?
Juliet runs after Mark and kisses him pretty passionately. Now they have a secret together that she cannot share with Peter — not a great way to start a marriage.
4. Selfishness: Sure, Mark had a cue card that said “Without hope or agenda”, but he was either lying to Juliet, or to himself, or both. Of course he had an agenda. Why go to all that trouble otherwise? She already knew he loved her, remember?
Now, what could this agenda have been? And what good could have come of it? Either she loves him, in which case he breaks up a marriage, encourages adultery, or gives Juliet a dose of the heartache he already lives with, or she doesn’t, in which case he has introduced a very awkward element into their relationship.
A lot of people who read romance love this movie, and especially love this scene. I know I’ve stacked the deck in favor of my negative viewpoint, but I’ve been wrong before. Anyone care to prove me so in this case?
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#1 by Robin on January 7, 2009 - 11:35 pm
I actually have issues with that entire film, but ITA with you about the Mark/Peter/Juliet situation. Mostly I saw Mark as pathetic, and it seemed to me that if he really was ready to take responsibility for his feelings he would never have burdened Juliet and Peter’s marriage with them so blatantly.
I also hated the Harry/Karen/Mia plotline, wanting to slap Emma Thompson’s Karen as often as I wanted to slap Alan Rickman’s Harry. When she welcomes him back at the end, ugh.
And that ridiculous Hugh Grant’s prime minister in love turn — yeah, like they were going to last. Boy, I forgot how many problems I had with that movie, lol.
#2 by Sarah Frantz on January 8, 2009 - 12:10 am
Love this movie for the first line alone, something about how love wins out over everything b/c people in the burning towers called their loved ones, not those they hated, just to say they loved them one more time.
But I’ve never really understood that particular storyline. I don’t see this scene as particularly romantic–rather, as finally accepting that his love is hopeless and letting it go. His relationship with her is already very awkward–she thinks he hates her–so they can finally get over it. But yeah, don’t like this storyline much.
Or the one with Rickman/Thompson. But I do like Hugh Grant’s and Liam Neeson’s and esp. Colin Firth’s. And I wish they’d be more explicit about Bill Nye’s storyline. Are they actually gay, or just good friends–I hate that they’re so fucking coy about it.
#3 by Janine on January 8, 2009 - 12:36 am
That is how I saw it too.
Jessica, have you read Emily Giffin’s Something Borrowed? It’s about two best friends involved with the same man. I actually prefer the sequel, Something Blue, in which the woman who loses out in the first book finds happiness and redemption, but I enjoyed both books. Giffin’s books are usually centered on moral dilemmas.
#4 by Ana T. on January 8, 2009 - 3:10 am
Although I did like the movie I totally disliked this storyline too. It made no sense to me that he didn’t try to nip it in the bud as you say. Loved the Miss Lock Jaw comment!
#5 by Ana T. on January 8, 2009 - 3:34 am
Btw I just nominated you for an award on my blog http://anecasworld.blogspot.com/
#6 by KristieJ on January 8, 2009 - 7:51 am
I’m probably one of the few people on the planet who hasn’t seen this movie, but from what you described and from the YouTube video, I don’t blame you for trashing this storyline. It goes against everything we love in romance.
True story here – I don’t think anyone I know in RL will discover this.
My youngest son, a young woman I work with and I just recently discovered that we have something in common. I’ll call her Mary – has been great friends with my son for years and I’ve known and really liked her since I started working there. They know each other because she was going out with a friend of his. But they broke up recently. From the way my son talks about her and the way she talks about my son, I can see there is a real attraction there. I really like her. But I asked my son the other day if they were going out and he said no – because of his good friend and friends don’t do that to other friend. So the fact that this guy is going after his best friends wife (because of course that is what he is doing!) is just wrong, wrong, wrong!!
#7 by lita on January 8, 2009 - 8:13 am
I’m with you on this one. I thought the Juliet/Peter/Mark “relationship” was the least successful of any of the storylines, as it was based on deceit (I don’t count the Harry/Karen/Mia plotline as a relationship at all – it seemed to exist more as a comic/tragic foil).
The problem I had with this whole movie was that there were too many stories going on at once. Eliminate half and you’ve got a much, much, much better movie.
#8 by Jennifer on January 8, 2009 - 10:45 am
That particular storyline didn’t bother me nearly as much as the whole American chick with the neurotic lust for the hot guy (who btw i think is the same actor who plays Xerxes in 300) she works with but cannot stop answering her phone to talk to her institutionalized brother.
Sorry, after the first few phone calls I was like, ok… enough already. That storyline as well as the one with Lock Jaw who needs to eat a Sandwich were just not necessary. Hell the one with the Porn guy and the guys traveling to America at least were entertaining.
That said, I still enjoyed the movie, just fast forward through the crap.
#9 by Kate on January 8, 2009 - 12:59 pm
I haven’t seen the film in awhile (and can’t watch the clip on my sorry computer), but I remember reading this scene with Mark and Juliet as much more of a goodbye than a hopeful beginning of a new, illicit romance. Their friendship – or lack thereof – was only going to affect all three of them in a negative way since Mark wasn’t able to try to be nice without giving himself away, and Juliet (if I seem to remember) was bothered by the fact that her husband’s best friend apparently hated her. True, he only came forward with the card-written truth after she’d discovered his feelings, but I definitely read this scene as a bit of a catharsis so that Mark could move on, and kiss or no kiss, Juliet went back to her cozy little den of wedded bliss with Peter. I’d never considered Juliet and Mark to be the “real” lovers in that storyline, always Juliet and Peter.
Yeah…I definitely didn’t read this scene the same way
#10 by December on January 8, 2009 - 2:25 pm
I adore this movie, but that love triangle always made me a little uneasy too. I guess, I just ignore the unease, and try to enjoy the romance of the moment.
As well as the weird – lets go to Wisconsin and get laid by a bunch of hot midwestern gals!
That scene when Karen opens the CD from Harry, and the song is such a elegant slap in the face, yeeeouch.
#11 by Lissa on January 8, 2009 - 3:43 pm
I love this movie, but I agree with you on this storyline in it. Most probably because like you, I can’t stand to watch Miss Lockjaw. But I also agree, that the scene to me is Mark saying goodbye, knowing that his love is hopeless because Juliet and Peter are marrried and he values them in his life, so he is moving on and letting go. I always wonder though what he would have said if Peter had opened the door and not Juliet. Kind of hard to explain those placards.
As for the Harry/Karen/Mia arc – it rings true for me. A married, older man attracted to a younger woman who seems to be attracted to him….plausible. I think Karen’s reaction to finding out about the necklace is plausible as well. It was only a necklace, that is not necessarily something to throw you family away for.
I think the whole point of the movie has to do with how we find and keep love in our lives. For as many people as there are, there are stories and happy endings. Or sometimes not, as the Laura Linney arc shows.
#12 by Dagny on January 8, 2009 - 5:07 pm
Inaddition to agreeing with the idea that the scene is a goodbye – the closing of a door rather than then opening of one – there’s something else I wanted to add. Peter and Mark are best friends and so it never occurred to me that Peter wouldn’t know about Mark’s love. He might not like what Mark did here, and I would expect him to be upset about the kiss, but I never doubted that he knew about Mark’s feelings.
#13 by Jessica on January 8, 2009 - 9:03 pm
Thanks Ana T.!
Ok, several of you have pointed out that Mark’s appearance on Juliet’s doorstep is to close the door, Kate’s word, “catharsis”, is a good one here, not open it, and I can accept that. I retract the claim that he has ulterior motives.
I guess I still wonder if that was the best way to get closure. The better choice, if he had to have closure (and I still think that “closure” meets exactly ONE person’s needs: Mark’s) was to write a nice letter and drop it in the post, not the grand gesture with the CD player, the cue cards, “To me, you are perfect” and Christmas.
Sometimes the most loving thing to do is to put your own feelings aside, as Kristie’s son did.
Now… Dagny’s idea that Peter knew about it all along? I never considered it! I would have to retract my deceit objection in that case, although you have to admit, as Lissa writes, it would have been awkward if Peter opened the door instead.
Kristie writes that the scene is everything romance is not, and I see it that way too. But I can see the other side … that there’s something good about pure adoration, even if unrequited.
Robin — I didn’t like most things about this movie, despite the fact that so many actors I love are in it.
Janine — Another book recommendation? If I take a 2nd mortgage out, I am sending you the bill. Just FYI.
Thanks also to everyone who supported me in my dislike of Keira Knightley.
#14 by Victoria Janssen on January 9, 2009 - 8:57 am
There were people in this movie other than Bill Nighy?!
*ahem*
Yes, I am a geek.
#15 by Maya M. on January 9, 2009 - 11:27 am
What an interesting rant. I never thought about it that way. I didn’t have a problem with it before, and now after thinking about this different interpretation – I still don’t.
Like other posters I thought that his grand, and yes, romantic gesture, was precisely to make it possible for all three of them to go forward in future. Mark and Juliet were both horribly embarrassed when she found out about his feelings – if he had left it like that, they could never have continued with a ‘normal’ relationship afterwards. He either had to cut from them completely (which would have hurt Peter) or kill the embarrassment with something even stronger, so he chose full disclosure to her, and simply walking away, head high, when he was finished told me he’d accomplished his mission and accepted that their relationship couldn’t become more. For her to run after and kiss him DIDN’T say to me “Oh I chose the wrong guy”, it said “I understand what you did, it took a lot of guts, farewell”. And they both seemed more calm and happy after as she returned to her husband.
Keira Knightly was in Phantom Menace?
I had to chuckle at Lock Jaw, because my own nickname for her is ‘close your mouth already!’. She seems to spend a lot of time onscreen when she doesn’t have any lines with her mouth open.
I loved the Liam Neeson/son storyline best, and because it was about a non-sexual type of love I had no problem accepting that the Billy Nighy/manager storyline was about love between friends, without a physcial element. I thought those two were well done.
Hugh Grant as Prime Minister was as believable as Billy Bob Thornton as President. (*g*)
#16 by Tumperkin on January 9, 2009 - 3:52 pm
That film was risible.
#17 by Jessica on January 9, 2009 - 5:19 pm
Tumperkin wrote:
What, the twee British thing doesn’t do it for you?
Maya M. wrote:
Excuse me, but that wasn’t a “rant”. It was persuasive argumentative discourse.
I can see it that way. I really can. Thank you.
Yes, VERY VERY BRIEFLY. She impersonated Queen Amidala.
#18 by Robin on January 9, 2009 - 5:22 pm
I guess I still wonder if that was the best way to get closure. The better choice, if he had to have closure (and I still think that “closure” meets exactly ONE person’s needs: Mark’s) was to write a nice letter and drop it in the post, not the grand gesture with the CD player, the cue cards, “To me, you are perfect” and Christmas.
Exactly. And the way he lingered over the whole thing gave me no doubt that if Juliet had indicated that she returned the feelings and was ready to act on them Mark would not be walking away with “closure” on his mind.
But then how much of what we find romantic in Romance is selfish? More than we’d like to think, IMO.
#19 by Moth on January 10, 2009 - 10:48 am
I took it as closure.
He also says “Enough” after she kisses him as he’s walking away. Which tells me they’ve put a lid on it and they’re done and now moving into friends territory. At the very end of the movie the three of them are all at the airport together to greet Colin Firth on his return with his new wife.
#20 by rae on January 23, 2009 - 5:30 pm
I didn’t mind the film, but all the stories were annoying. That was one of the particularly nauseating ones. I thought it would have been a much better film if it had concentrated on one or two stories – PM & Tea -lady (everyone likes a good cinderella story) and perhaps the woman that was tied to her brother. As it was it felt far too episodic and you didn’t really care about any of the characters. Or maybe that was just me.
#21 by Jessica on January 25, 2009 - 6:56 am
@ rae:
It wasn’t just you. I would never have been attracted to a movie like that if so many of my favorite actors weren’t in it.