All you really need to know about this holiday is explained by Jon Stewart in Can I Interest You in Hanukkah?
Stephen: Does Hanukkah commemorate events profound and holy? A king who came to save the world?
Jon: No, oil that burned quite slowly
And how well does my family know me? My best Hanukkah present:
Off to make the latkes…
This is just a personal exploration.
In March 2007, having read almost no fiction for over a decade, I did something very strange: I walked into a drug store looking for something to read. For fun. After perusing the short stack of best sellers, I walked out with J. R. Ward’s Lover Revealed. I now realize that I had essentially skipped the “gateway drugs” and gone right for the crack.
Because all you pre-published authors are not the only ones out there with “issues”…
1. 8:00am: Dispatch children and spouse, light wood stove, put coffee on. Arrange papers in alphabetical order. Acquire pens, adjust lighting, turn on laptop “just in case”.
2. Check email. Answer email.
3. Surf the net for 90 minutes.
4. Choose paper from the pile. Take cap off pen. Read first paragraph.
5. Check for new posts in Google reader. Check for new comments on blog. Emergency check to make sure comment made on widely read blog has not been misinterpreted by later commenters.
6. Refill coffee mug. Was that the mailman? Check snail mail.
7. Let cat out. Recall, too late, that cat despises snow. Let cat in.
8. Repair to wood stove with angry wet cat. Ten minutes of apologetic petting and soothing.
9. Check email.
10. Read and grade first paper.
11. Check course enrollments for spring 09. Still anemic. Curse popular junior colleague with overloaded courses and blame ageism and your principled refusal to pander to undergraduates with Britney Spears references.
12. 10:59. Almost lunch time. Make lunch. Eat slowly while surfing the web.
13. Grade two papers.
14. Create blog post “Great Moments in Today’s Grading” where you quote the most unintentionally funny lines from your students’ papers. Your own evil cackles provide soundtrack.
15. Grade one paper.
16. Start grading another paper. Wow! This one is fantastic! Who wrote it? Wait … there is no way that student wrote this. Must check for plagiarism. Google suspicious phrases. Nothing. Scroll down, and find website on wo1f secks. Study this important topic for 45 minutes.
17. Grade three papers.
18. Wonder if you put your bookmark back in your book before falling asleep in bed last night. Run upstairs to check. Wake up 30 minutes later, peel off bookmark smooshed on side of face.
19. Make more coffee. Grade two more papers.
20. Think about how weird it is to be at home during the day. Note with dismay the copious amounts of dog hair on furniture and in corners. Recall with horror that dog passed away three weeks ago.
21. Grade one paper — three sighs for every paragraph.
22. Suddenly realize that SAHMs likely don’t find daytime sightings of their home unsettling. This thought triggers Working Mother’s Guilt Sequence, a malicious program that, once activated, automatically overrides every other cognitive function, forcing the conscious mind through a progression of thoughts and images that begins with the birth or adoption of one or more innocent babies and ends with…
[redacted]
23. Cookies! I will make cookies! I will greet my family with warm, fresh baked cookies!
24. Grade one paper. Quick note to student identifying and apologizing for chocolate stain.
25. Delete unethical draft blog post, “Great Moments From Today’s Grading.”
26. 4:55. 38 papers to go. Make large pot of coffee. It’s going to be a long night.
My Take in Brief: They fight! And bite! They fight and bite and fight! Fight fight fight! Bite bite bite! The Itchy and Scratchy Showwwwwwww!
Cover Comment: Lovely. Suggestive. Promising. Deceitful.
Series?: Yes. This is Book 1 of Lords of the Underworld, about a group of immortal warriors who once protected Zeus. When Pandora — a girl! WTF Zeus, bro?! — was chosen to guard the infamous box, these guys, in a stroke of brilliance unparalleled in the “bad ass brotherhood” subgenre of paranormal romance, killed her, releasing the demons, to which they are now bound for all eternity. Oh, snap.
Word on the Web:
Jen, The Ginger Kid’s Den of Iniquity, 5 stars (mini review)
Jia, Dear Author, C-
Scooper Speaks, very positive
KMont, Lurv a la Mode, 3 scoops
Casee, Book Binge, 3.5 out of 5
Kimberly Swan, Darque Reviews, positive
Bitten by Books, 4 graves
Amazon.com, 4 stars after 94 reviews
Hero and Heroine: Maddox, Keeper of Violence, the leader of the LOTU. He was the one to actually kill Pandora, so he is doubly cursed. Not only does he share his body with the demon Violence, but each night he is killed and sent to hell where he is tortured until dawn. Ashlyn Darrow has been able to hear voices all of her life — the conversations of people present and past. She works for the World Institute for Parapsychology, where her parents dumped her when they discovered she was “different”.
The Racy Romance Review: Let’s agree that killing Pandora suggests this group of men are misogynistic, stupid, and/or lacking in impulse control. But I withhold judgment, following my personal rule when reviewing paranormal romance: no tarmac crashes. In other words, I think it’s only fair to let the author get off the ground with the worldbuilding. Besides, the Greek gods themselves were notoriously all of the above. And the premise is interesting. I like books with bands of brothers, and I was in the mood for a tortured hero.
However, the line between the exaggeration typical of paranormal romance and caricature was crossed in this book. For example, isn’t it enough that Maddox has a demon inside him which is constantly egging him towards violence? Or how about that he is strapped down and stabbed to death nightly? No, still not tortured enough? Ok, let’s add 12 hours in hell every night, with graphic descriptions of his flesh being burned off and growing back.
Although Maddox is the only one hooked up with the Violence demon, this is the most violent, hair trigger group of warriors I have ever come across. These guys rarely get three sentences out without breaking into fisticuffs: it’s a good frigging thing they are immortal. In one scene, a Lord is cutting himself, letting blood drip all over the floor, for no apparent reason (okay, okay, he is the “Keeper of Pain”). It’s just … silly.
So much about this book did not make sense to me. The relationship between the warriors and their demons was inconsistent (for example, Violence is supposed to be pure violence, but seems to want to have nonviolent sex with the heroine.). Maddox is this total testosterone freak, constantly punching in walls, other people, and — I’m sure of it — himself. But –surprise! — he reads romance novels and finds them “sexy, fun and enlightening.” The heroine is totally unformed. She wants to stay with Maddox when she first meets him in the woods, despite the fact that he is terrifying (she can see his demon’s visage, kind of like Ghost Rider), then wants to leave the fortress, then decides to stay.
It was also inconsistent in tone. For example, Ashlyn becomes fatally ill, not for the last time, and someone suggests acetomeniphen. The Lords of the Underworld — Death, Violence, Pain incarnate!! — are standing around her bed, and they’re talking about Tylenol:
“Where can we get this Tylenol” Maddox asked, urgency consuming him.
When our h/h finally get down to business, we get the usual (which is fine with me). You know, the perfect breasts, the moaning, the need beyond all needs, and then, suddenly, this:
His blood burned for more, But he set her back on her feet and pushed her toward the sink. Soon. Without a word, he handed her the toothbrush he’d acquired for her earlier and claimed as his own.
I admit, when I thought about Maddox claiming something in this scene, it wasn’t a toothbrush.
There were inconsistencies in the development of the relationship as well. For example, they have a long chat which concludes with Maddox saying, in characteristic (but fun) dramatic alpha hero fashion, “You are mine, woman and I am yours”, followed by their first sexxoring, but several pages later Ashlyn has this thought:
“They’d just established that they liked each other, and that they were both willing to take their relationship to the next level.”
Huh? I’m sorry Ashlyn, you must not have studied your 2008 Paranormal Hero Manual. Your man said “mine.” There is no higher level.
I also felt that while the concept of the curses was unique, there were other strong, er, reminders, of other books which diminished my appreciation for this one. There’s Zadist Zarek Lucien, the Lord who is tattooed all over, cold, emotionless, scarred, the baddest of them all. There’s Rhage Paris, the one who has to have lots of nameless faceless sex to keep his demon at bay. Ashlyn’s telepathic ability is shared with forbears Sookie Stackhouse of Charlaine Harris’s Southern Vampire Mystery series, and, closer to home, Elise Chase in Lara Adrian’s Midnight Awakening.
J.R. Ward’s Lover Revealed was the first romance I read as an adult. I have since come to enjoy a lot of paranormal romance, the narrative structure (?) of which reminds me of a book, Little Tug, that I read to my youngest child sometimes. This tiny tugboat manages to get really far by skimming from the crest of one giant wave right to the top of the next.
I think of the pleasures of (much) paranormal romance that way: you go from hit to hit to hit. It connects directly with powerful baseline human emotions like anger, lust, jealousy, possessiveness, and pride, in a kind of elliptical manner that draws on millennia of human experience. But at some point in the story, you need the nourishment you get from dipping down into the ocean’s depths. Otherwise, it’s just a jerky, painful ride.
I did like some things about this book, but I’m not planning to pursue the series. Instead, I plan to check out some of the author’s many positively reviewed comtemps.
The Book Smugglers nominated me for a Kreativ Blogger award. Thanks!
I’m going to do what I usually do with memes: “Nice Jessica” will participate, but my alter ego “Bitchica” will refuse to pass it on. Lest anyone think I am stingy with the compliments, though, check out my recent post, Bouquets and Blogbats, which is just the first installment of a regular feature.
Here are the rules:
1. Mention the blog that gave it to you.
2. Comment on their blog to let them know you have posted the award.
3. Share 6 values that are important to you.
4. Share 6 things you do not support.
5. Share the love with six other wonderful blogging friends.
Six values that are important to me:
1. Rational discourse
2. Freedom of expression
3. Curiosity
4. Trust
5. Empathy
6. Films directed by Clint Eastwood or starring Sean Penn
Six things I do not support:
1. Rants
2. “Niceness” motivated by dishonesty, fear, or indifference
3. Closedmindedness
4. Hubris
5. Tweezing
6. Any movie with Keira Knightly (except she was ok in The Phantom Menace)
Happy Monday!
When I posted my review recently of Victoria Janssen’s The Duchess, Her Maid, the Groom, and Their Lover, I thought it was mixed. After describing the book as lots of sex without as much character development or plot as I would prefer, I wrote that:
I would cut about 80% of the sex and rewrite this as an erotic romance with a strong focus on Camille and Henri’s relationship.
I thought that was a pretty cheeky comment, kind of like ending a review of an Agatha Christie by saying “remove 80% of the mystery and focus on the butler’s battle with cancer and that would be a great book!”. To my surprise, several people responded with “sounds great!”, and my review was mentioned by a few people as a positive one.
[Please note: the rest of this post contains material inappropriate for children.]
Please add “hypocrite” to the list of things that annoy you about me, because I am now doing something I never thought I would — a post with a LOLcat and a picture of our new puppy. You might want to click away now.
See, I just taught my last class, and all the signs of the typical sprint to the finish line are there:
–Extra ten pounds? Check.
–Talbots suits abandoned in favor of jeans and LL Bean fisherman sweater? Check.
–Pimples where I rub my face in irritation or despair? Check.
– “Skunk head”, that nice strip of gray, due to missed coloring appointment? Check.
–Nails bitten to the quick? Check.
–The usual dark circles, but at twice the circumference? Check.
Sure, I look like shit, but I feel like this (except without chemical assistance):
One more thing: Recently we decided to get a puppy (we lost our beloved 13 year old family dog last month). He’s too little to leave his mom yet, but meet our soon-to-be coming-home-with-us English Shepherd, Wellington (Did I mention that I am married to a British historian?):
Happy day!
Because I’ve been an INTJ since I learned my letters…
Bouquets: Some of my favorite things…
Carolyn Jean, The Thrillionth Page, “Great Moments From Last Night’s Reading”: This is such a fantastic concept, it brings me closer to her reading experience than a regular review, and it often makes me even more interested in the book than a comprehensive review would. I am sure these must be super time consuming, but I so look forward to them whenever CJ has the time!
Jill D., Romance Rookie‘s “Series Sunday”. This is a classic example of why posts do not have to be long or have bells and whistles. I love these posts — they introduce me to series I don’t know, they remind me of gaps in series I have partially finished, and they allow me to trip down memory lane for series I have completed.
Ana and Thea, The Book Smugglers, author interviews. Sometimes, I chase an author all over Romancelandia reading her interviews, and end up feeling sorry for her since she has to answer the same tired set of questions over and over. These guys inspire authors to say the most interesting, unique things.
JenB, The Ginger Kid’s Den of Iniquity‘s “WTF Wednesdays”. Have you ever considered why heroine public hair is so fuzzy? Why there are no BFFs in romance? Why authors refer to a neck as a column? Well, Jen has. And once you read her posts, you’ll wonder why these important matters escaped your notice.
Heloise, Bodice Ripper Reviews, for the humor. Everything from her tagline — “Would a Wisconsin mother of two lie to you?” — to rating historicals by number of “discreet coughs”, to comments like, “let’s face it, virgins always bleed in romance novels”, this is the funniest blog you are not reading.
Blogbats… I’m not calling you out (way too chicken), but you know who you are…
1. So you haven’t had time to post. I totally get that. But the posts that do nothing but that tell us you are too busy to post? Without even saying anything interesting about what you are so busy doing? 
2. Commercialism. I get it that some bloggers spend a lot of time, effort, expertise, and money on their blogs. They deserve to recoup some of that. I don’t even begrudge them trying to turn a profit. But isn’t there a limit? How about a rating system that helps us to judge how heavily a visitor to your site will be bombarded with attempts to sell us things, and, worse, attempts to get us to sell ourselves your things?
Level 0: Either through design or incompetence, actually repels you from buying things based on its content
Level 1: Links to Amazon in reviews, has Library Thing widget (not that I know any blogs like that)
Level 2: Kind of like the NPR or Democracy Now of blogs: has an Amazon store, but maintains a noncommercial self-image, with concomitant hand wringing over introduction of ads, which it takes only for benign purposes
Level 3: Encompasses items in Level 1 and 2, with Ads by Google banner, ads for books running along along one or maybe two sidebars, and some “eye catching” Java to go along with them.
Level 4: Encompasses items in Level 1, 2, and 3, with promotional posts and contests. Often editor and author blogs fit this bill. This is where my personal limit has been reached.
Level 5: Encompasses items in prior 4 levels (with a special fondness for those “eye catching” ads), with frequent self-promotional posts, creative insertion of commercial content into regular columns, and posts that encourage readers to supply content for additional commercial enterprises (Stockholm Syndrome?). Of course, all of that commercial activity has resulted in a decrease in the kind of posts that made you love this blog, and an increase in posts which are essentially links to other blogs supplied by readers (Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy?). Me, I’m just waiting for the branded line of tampons and pads (which make your periods fly by in a sexy and sassy way, of course!), because when some folks put “saturation” in their business plan, they mean it!
This is a book review and discussion blog written by a philosophy professor who reads across the genres and has special interests in ethics and gender theory.
