Comments on: “Come for me, baby”: orgasm on command

By: Kaetrin

Kaetrin — Sat, 21 Mar 2009 05:32:00 +0000

I’ve got to admit. I love when the heroes do this! (does that make me a bad girl?).

By: Jessica

Jessica — Fri, 20 Mar 2009 21:32:49 +0000

@ Stacia Kane:
Thank you for visiting, and for giving me a real chuckle this morning after my pup got me out of bed at the crack of dawn and I was in no mood to smile!

And that guy gets mucho points for even knowing the signs, IMHO.

By: Stacia Kane

Stacia Kane — Fri, 20 Mar 2009 11:54:20 +0000

I’m commenting on this very late and I don’t know if anyone will see it, but this reminded me of a rather cute little convo that took place on my blog last summer. I spent the summer doing a long series of posts on writing sex scenes, and in one of the segments I mentioned the “Come for me” and asked if anyone reading had ever actually had that work, or had heard of it actually working.

One of my male readers commented that it worked for him all the time. He said it was very simple; he’d pay close attention, and just when she’s on the verge of orgasm *anyway* he’d say “Come for me.”

I thought it was kind of cute, anyway.

By: Jessica

Jessica — Sat, 31 Jan 2009 16:59:43 +0000

Lynne Connolly wrote:

Am I the only person here who loves that particular use? I use it in my books sometimes because it really does it for me. Maybe that’s why a lot of authors use it, because it does it for them, too. it’s possession and care and – yum.

Lynne,

I do enjoy it, and these examples are mostly from books I loved. I was just having a bit of fun with this post. I agree that same words — “come for me baby” — can mean so many different things. I just noticed the phrase cropping up so regularly, I felt like posting about it!

thanks for your visit.

By: Lynne Connolly

Lynne Connolly — Sat, 31 Jan 2009 13:53:59 +0000

Am I the only person here who loves that particular use? I use it in my books sometimes because it really does it for me. Maybe that’s why a lot of authors use it, because it does it for them, too. it’s possession and care and – yum.

By: visitor

visitor — Wed, 31 Dec 2008 08:38:01 +0000

Also, yes, I can see no good coming of men reading these novels, LOL.

By: visitor

visitor — Wed, 31 Dec 2008 07:41:13 +0000

LOL! Yeah, I see it a lot, and you’re right, it does have to do with power. I suppose women want their men to take more initiative and bend all that will to achieving their pleasure (there’s a stud). What woman wouldn’t? LOL. Another reader posted a poll mentioned on Oprah where something like 60% of women wanted to be dominated in bed (link). The sex therapist on that show mentioned the prevailing theory that women want this who have a lot of control over their lives. Maybe writers simply know their audience, LOL. And despite all that, I still haven’t tired of it, LOL.

I love your post though, and all these comments. I have to say I’m partial to the roaring but the virgasm must go. I like books where it’s treated more realistically. Thanks for another great post! (Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to add to my reading list. LOL!)

By: Jessica

Jessica — Fri, 14 Nov 2008 12:20:59 +0000

Lauren,

Yes, you are so right that while the words are the same, the context sets the meaning. In your own book, as you mention, the words are used encouragingly for a heroine who needs encouragement.

So, it’s very funny, but also misleading, to list the mere phrases in my post the way I did.

I hope you do blog about it. I would love to read what you have to say.

Thank you for visiting and commenting!

By: Lauren

Lauren — Fri, 14 Nov 2008 00:22:37 +0000

Bwahahaha! I’m so totally guilty. In fact, I’m sure you can find it in more than just that book and I do agree it should see less action as one of those overused phrases.

I will say though, I think it’s a term that is used for more than just bossy alpha types – for instance in the book of mine you use above, the hero is a gamma male, not an alpha at all.

But I do love the uber alpha dude too and when I use it in those circumstances it’s far more of a domination thing than it is when I use it in other circumstances.

At root though – when I read it on the page in a scene I enjoy and when I write it, I see a man who wants to bring the heroine pleasure. A hero who gets off on getting her off. There are so many different ways to mean that simple phrase I may have to talk about this on my blog or danehart soon (crediting you of course)

By: Jessica

Jessica — Sun, 09 Nov 2008 12:15:46 +0000

Tumperkin,

I know — I think it’s control in many cases, a little bit of dominance for the vanilla sex crowd. Although I think Victoria and others have made a good argument that there may be other motivations in some cases.

Laura,

I hate mixing hummus and sex (although I am sure Jenny Crusie, the mistress of sex-with-food, will find a way to do it), so be glad you didn’t find a way to work it in, or you would have lost the point you earned for being the first to mention TUTGB!

ScuFiGuy — Thank you for the visit and comment, only the second male to do so (although one never knows).